


It's Not DiGiorno, it's Demonic!

by LavanderVenom (LavandeReve)



Category: Monster Girls | Monster Boys, Original Work
Genre: Dark Comedy, Demons, F/M, Harems, Horror, Monsters, Multi, Obsession, Original Character(s), Paranormal, Pizza, Reader-Insert, Reader-Interactive, Supernatural Creatures, Supernatural Elements, Vampires, Werewolves, Witches, Yandere, Zombies, and her harem of monster boys, hope you can enjoy it!, just a goofy story to cheer me up when i'm in a bad mood, monster lovers unite!, reader - Freeform, the life and times of a pizza delivery girl
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-24
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:40:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 35,525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26628442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LavandeReve/pseuds/LavanderVenom
Summary: In desperate need for money, (Full Name) applies for a job offer as a pizza delivery girl that pays suspiciously well. All is fine for the first few shifts, but once she’s given a last-minute order on a graveyard shift to a place called Amityville Street, she soon learns why the pay was so good.Be it eccentric vampires, werewolves, satanic rituals, axe wielding serial killers, zombies, and more; we’ll have your pizza delivered in under 30 minutes or less. If not, then it’s free!
Relationships: Original Male Character/Reader, Reader/Other(s), reader/various monsters
Comments: 24
Kudos: 82





	1. Grimassi’s Pizzeria

**🍕🖤~Disclaimer~🖤🍕**

_**Good Evening (or Morning/Afternoon) dear readers~! Tis I, Lavander Venom, with a yandere story I had been working on for quite sometime. It's a concept that I though would be interesting and fun to write and I'm a sucker for yandere stories~** _

_**Of course, with such a story comes content warnings! This story will include** _ _**depictions and mentions of violence, gore, dark humor, profanity, sexual innuendos (tho nothing too crazy *wink wonk*), and more that may make some readers uncomfortable. I'm not here to traumatize anyone, but to entertain so if you feel like this story may be too much for you than I kindly urge you to sit this one out.** _

_***I also want to take a moment to say that I do not condone yandere or yandere like behavior in real life! Fictional works like these are harmless, oftentimes guilty pleasures. However, if you're dealing with a crazy mofo in real life then please take caution and protect yourself! You're health and safety are more important~** _ **🖤** _***** _

_**If you feel like you'll be fine, however, than feel free to keep scrolling!** _

_**Thank you so much for taking the time to read my story, and I hope you'll enjoy the grim and wacky adventures of a pizza delivery girl~** _

* * *

_**Chapter 1: Grimassi's Pizzeria** _

* * *

The flickering lights of the sign bathed (F/n) in a neon crimson. _“Grimassi’s Pizzeria”_ was spelled out in a zesty font, contrasting with the aged store front and grungy back alley it was situated in. She grimaced at the shady building and the black alley cat that was busy eating a rat in front of it. The place was literally a dump...

On any other occasion, (F/n) would have never stepped foot in such a place unless she had a death wish. Alas, this wasn’t any other occasion and she was on the desperate side of the spectrum of destitute which irresponsibly convinced her to throw caution to the wind in the face of money.

And so here she was. In the back of a creepy alley. In front of a sketchy pizza place…of which she was trying to work at.

(F/n) sighed, bemoaning her poor life choices. Having recently been laid off at her previous job was blow to her pride as well as her bank account which groaned with hunger pains. Many said she had a temperament that meshed with customer service as well as toothpaste and orange juice. So while disappointing, it wasn’t a surprise when she had ended up dumping a milkshake on a _Karen TM _who had pushed one of her buttons a trite _too_ hard.

The satisfaction she felt in that moment was long gone in the sobering reality she was in now. Being a broke bitch in college was _not_ good, even if it was a simple community college. Especially since she also had rent and bills to pay, a fact her insufferable roommate made _painfully_ clear.

* * *

“What the fuck do you mean you got _fired_?!”

(F/n) dropped her bag on the ground with little care, ears ringing from the yell. _‘Jeez, why not try using your inside voice for once?’_

Standing across from her was her roommate, Angie, whose glaring emerald green eyes were dark and piercing enough to cut through stone.

(F/n), having gotten used to the look, easily ignored her fuming roommate and made a beeline towards the stove. She took off the stupid hat that made up a part of the uniform of her old job. The sight of the cartoon cow on it filled her with a deep disgust and she was only too eager to get rid of it.

“Did I stutter?” She snapped, pulling out a pan and some matches. “I got fired. Discharged. Booted in the ass and out the door.”

(F/n) placed the pan on the stove and slammed the hat in it. The cow looked up at her with that stupid smile and the coldness in her heart was only warmed up by the lit match in her hand. No wonder pyromaniacs liked to set shit on fire so much. She could already feel that sweet, sweet serotonin flowing from her brain and into her veins! Before she could put on end to the infernal hat though, she was stopped by Angie who slammed her palms on the counter next to her.

“(F/n), you're _seriously_ pulling on my dick right now!” Her matte red lips pulled into a Pit-bull like snarl. “You seriously lost _another_ job? For Christ's sake that’s the fifth one in the past three months!”

“I’ve noticed…” (F/n) drawled before yelping when the fire of the match burned down to her fingers. _‘Aw, fuck!’_ She winced, a surge of anger towards the cow swelling up like a wave. (It is up to you, dear readers to figure out which cow she was referring too).

 _”GuH, I’ve NOtiCed.”_ Angie mocked, bending her arms like a chicken. “Have you also noticed that the rent is due soon? That the water bill needs to be paid? That since you no longer have a job, I can finally kick your bummy ass out?!”

“Oh yeah? Bet.” (F/n) challenged, lighting up another match. “Kick me out. I’ll still be able to hear Auntie chewing you out for doing so three blocks down.”

“You-!” Angie’s growl pounded from behind her gritted teeth and (F/n) couldn’t help but smirk a little. Due to a promise her late mother made with her Auntie Dixie, she was fortunately put up in an apartment that she used to live in. Unfortunately, she also had to share it with her cousin who she didn't get along with since day freakin’ one.

The deal was a simple one. They could stay there as long as they paid the rent and what not. Well, it would be a simple one for people who had their shit together and could keep a stable job...an (F/n) was not one of those people.

“Gah! _Sonuva_ -!” She hissed, waving the match out after burning her fingers _again_ (Smokey the Bear would be so disappointed in her…).

“Ugh, you know what? I’m not gonna deal with you right now.” Angie scoffed, flicking her long dark brown hair out of her face. “I’m going to a party and I don’t want you to kill my vibe anymore than you already have!”

“I can give you a vibe check to make me feel better.” (F/n) turned on the sink to run her fingers under some cold water. Ah, sweet relief~

“Tch, hard pass.” Angie rolled her eyes before reaching over and picking up-

“Is that a _newspaper_?” (F/n) looked at the off-white pages with a grimace. “In my 20XX???”

“Yep.” She popped the ‘P’, throwing the paper on the counter in front of (F/n) with more force than she thought was necessary. “Since you clearly can’t find a stable job online, why don’t you try goin’ old school? At least then, they’d probably be desperate enough to hire you despite your shitty record.”

(F/n) switched her scrutinizing glare over towards her cousin who was already halfway out the door, sashaying in her overpriced heels that probably cost more than their electric bill (she snorted. And she said _she_ wasted money?)

“You talk about me, but don’t you also have a shift today?”

Angie looked over her shoulder with a smirk, twirling her keys on her finger. “I have a friend who’s covering me. Besides, the guy hosting the party I’m going to is single and, more importantly, _loaded_. I wore this tight ass "Fashionova" dress for a reason y'know~!”

“For real? Ask if he’s got a brother then!” In response, Angie gave her a perfectly manicured middle finger before leaving without a single goodbye.

“Fuckin’ _r00d_ …” She pouted, lighting up the third match and wasting no time in setting the hat on fire. She watched the flames engulf the cow mascot with sadistic satisfaction. For the first time, she was glad her cheap as hell ex-boss got these flammable uniforms. She was quick to take off the rest of it, finally free from the symbols of oppression that was customer service~

Now in her underwear, (F/n) hummed an easy tune as she picked up the sizzling pan and threw it in the sink, putting out the flames. What was once a hat was now a charred lump of cheap fabric, just as nature intended!

She nodded in satisfaction before going over to a cupboard and pulling out a jar of Nutella and a spoon. She needed some emergency comfort food and Angie would _definitely_ mind if she ate it all. Hehe~♪

As (F/n) was about to go in her room and watch Netflix, her eye caught onto the newspaper Angie had given her. She slowly blinked at it before shrugging and picking it up. Ah what the hell. Might as well give it a look. She might actually find something.

(F/n) flopped on her bed, leafing through the stack of papers lazily. Political bullshit, depressing news, celebrity drama, ads for useless crap, blah, blah, blah. Just as she suspected, she found nothing but another kick to her mental health due to the crappy state of the world. Curse you New York Times. Curse you!!!

Just as (F/n) was about to ball it up and try to shoot it in her trash can, she noticed something of interest.

**_“Pizza Delivery Boy/Girl wanted!”_ **

“Mmm, some pizza do sound good right now.” She mumbled, taking a closer look at the ad while spooning Nutella in her mouth. It was for some pizzeria called Grimassi’s (weird name). They were looking for someone to work five days a week, must have their own car, be of an able bodied age, must work night shift, and the minimum wage was-

**…**

(F/n)’s eyes bugged out of their sockets and she sat up in shock, the spoon falling from her mouth. “Holy shiterdoodles! 50 bucks an _hour_?!”

She was sure she wasn’t sleep deprived, blind, or high enough to make that number up. $50 dollars an hour for delivering pizzas??? This _had_ to be a scam. There was no way this shit was real!

The skeptic in her scoffed at such a stupid prank, but the dumb bitch in her (which was much more prominent) couldn’t help but eye the ad hungrily. If this were really legit, she could be making a minimum $500 a week! That was more than what she and Angie could make in a month _combined._

“There’s no way. This has to be fake…” She whispered, vainly trying to stamp down the rising hope in her chest. Against her common sense, she prayed that this was a lucky break and not a broken dream. The idea of having such a stable income, of being able to actually pay for her classes, of maybe finally taking the steps to making a life for her own, was too tempting to pass up.

Perhaps she was jumping the gun. Perhaps she was too blinded by joy to see the truth. Regardless, this was something that she just couldn’t ignore. It was as if a seed had been planted in her mind and it was growing _fast_.

(F/n) tightened her grip on the paper. She had to check this out.

* * *

And so here she was, standing in front of this sketchy pizza place in an alley way that looked like it came straight out of a horror movie. The sight sobered her up _real_ good.

"This is like, a whole new record of stupid for me, huh Mx. Kitty?"She asked the alley cat, who blinked up at her before going back to it's meal. She slumped, exasperated at her awful survival instincts. What was she, a freakin’ _dodo bird_? Any minimum wage job that paid even half as much as this supposed one did was too good to be true. It was _too_ sketchy, as much as a Craigslist ad from a creepy 40+ year old man. This was probably a scam that would end up getting her robbed or worse.

Still…the promise of all that money was also too good to pass up. Y’know, on the off chance that it wasn’t a trap that would leave her short of a kidney...or two.

“Well, it wouldn’t hurt to try I guess…” (F/n) grumbled. Of course, it could hurt. Very much so. But you know what else hurt??? Eating Ramen and syrup sandwiches for two weeks straight. Using the scratch and sniff samples of magazines for perfume. Wearing lost and found Sketchers when everyone got Jordan’s. That shit _hurted._

So with a mixture of reluctance and anticipation, (F/n) opened the door, the aged “ting” of an old bell above following suit.

She was immediately greeted with the warm smell of pizza; the coils of meat, cheese, and dough flowing through her nose and rumbling down into her stomach. Hell, whether she got hired or not, she should at least order a couple of left-over slices to go cause that ish smelled _good_.

The somewhat operatic croon of a female Italian singer rang out in the silent restaurant. There was naught a soul to be seen, which was rather odd seeing that it was a Friday evening. Places like this would usually be filled up by now, but she guessed it’s out of sight and unwelcoming location affected the flow of customers.

(F/n) absently hummed along with the song as she walked closer to the front counter. There was a little bell that sat on top of it, and it was more out of instinct when she reached over to hit it. If she saw a bell, she naturally had to ring it. The response was practically Pavlovian.

_‘Ting!’_

“Ting…” She mimicked, waiting for someone to show up from the back. The whole place just felt so…empty that she wasn’t sure if anyone was really here to be honest. But the sign outside did say that it was open, so…

(F/n) was only left unsure for a few more moments before someone finally appeared, flowing from the shadows like mist from an alley. It was a woman, and everything about her struck (F/n) in a way she couldn’t quite describe.

She was beautiful, in an aged wine sort of way, with a olive toned body on the plumper side. Her blonde hair was pulled up into a messy bun with streaks of gray falling along the sides of her face. Her grey-blue eyes were that of a cloudy mirror, and (F/n) couldn’t help the odd shiver that went through her body when they stared into her own. It was as if she were staring not just at her, but _in_ her as well, right there in the soul...

Above all that, though, was the aura the woman exuded. It felt stuffy and archaic, like an old library rich with the history of aged books.

After of few silent moments of sizing each other up, the woman grinned warmly, showing off the wide gap in her front teeth.

“ _Ciao passerott_ _a~!_ How may I help you?” She asked, voice soft yet pleasantly deep, like dark chocolate. Her Italian accent was clear to hear as well. “Would you like to order something?”

(F/n) felt her daze seep away at the question and she shook her head to clear the lingering vestiges. Now wasn’t the time to just stand here, gaping like an idiot. Though some pizza _did_ sound good, she was here for business!

“Um, no ma’am…I’m actually here to apply for a job.” She began, idly pointing behind her at the help wanted sign on the window. “I had read about it in the newspaper and I saw the sign, so…”

The woman’s eyes lit up in what almost looked…knowingly? What the…?

“I see~♪” She hummed, clasping her hand together. “Wonderful! We’ve been looking for a new employee for some time now~!”

(F/n) stayed silent, watching as the woman wiped her hands on her stained apron _(‘marinara sauce’_ she noted the red stains. Well duh, what else would it be?) before gesturing for her to sit at one of the nearby booths. “Why don’t you take a seat there dear and we can get started on the interview, hm~?”

“Ah, sure…” She mumbled, feeling a little awkward as she walked over to sit. The woman smiled some more before following suit. When the two were settled in the worn-out red seats, she wasted no time to in exchanging pleasantries.

“My name is Flora Grimassi, but most people just call me Nonna Flo~!” She gestured to herself with one hand while the other was held out for a handshake. “My husband and I run this lil pizzeria together~!”

(F/n) slowly nodded, accepting the hand after a few moments (wah~, it was like holding a marshmallow). “The name’s (Full Name). It’s nice to meet you er- Mrs. Grimassi.” She didn’t feel too comfortable with calling her anything else at the moment.

“Likewise!” Mrs. Grimassi chirped before folding her hands on the table and leveling her with piercing stare. It contrasted greatly with her warm and inviting appearance. (F/n) could help but shuffle in her seat at it.

“Now then, I believe you said you found our ad in the newspaper?”

“…That’s right…”

“ _I see_ , you must have quite the eye then~!” Something about the way that she said that implied something more. Perhaps she was being paranoid but something about it seemed…double sided, like an inside joke.

“Yeah, my bit- er, my roommate suggested I should look in the papers for a job and when I saw how much ya’ll were offering, I couldn’t just ignore it.” (F/n) learned forward a little, unable to keep the skepticism out of her voice. “Are you seriously offering $50 an _hour_?”

“That’s correct~!”

“Holy shizz…” She mumbled, unable to believe her ears. “You serious? Like, honest to God serious? No way, there has to be a catch.”

“No such thing dear.” Mrs. Grimassi giggled, placing a hand to her cheek. “I know how hard it is for you young ones to make a living these day, so I wanted to help out in anyway I can.”

 _“Well you sure are generous.”_ (F/n) snorted under her breath, but the woman heard it anyway.

“Hehe~! Well you know what they say, _‘Evermind the rule of three’_ ~♪”

 _‘Who the hell says that, Dumbledore?’_ Well, she wasn’t complaining either way. Whatever helped her get that coin was okay with her!

“Now then dear, why don’t we get started on the interview hm?” Mrs. Grimassi clapped and (F/n) jumped a little at the sound. Oh shit, that’s right. Getting a job required doing an interview first. Fuck.

“U…U-Uh, yeah sure!” She nodded confidently, though the pit of anxiety in her gut said otherwise. She already got nervous when doing regular interviews, so lord knows she couldn’t handle one for a job this valuable-

“Heads or Tails~?”

“…”

“…”

“…What?”

Mrs. Grimassi closed her eyes, emphasizing the happy wrinkles around them. “Heads or Tails~?”

(F/n) blinked. She…perhaps she heard her wrong? It was pretty late after all and she hasn’t gotten much sleep lately. She had to be hearing things.

“Er- I’m sorry Mrs. Grimassi, but could you please repeat that?”

“Heads or Tails dear~!”

 _‘So I guess I wasn’t hearing things.’_ She sweat-dropped, feeling more than a little confused. _‘What the hell…’_

As if reading her thoughts, Mrs. Grimassi’s eyes twinkled in amusement as she leaned forward a little, placing her chin on top of her clasped hands. “Just humor me _passerotta~♪_ ”

“Er…okay then?” (F/n) cleared her throat before she gave her answer. She had no idea what the ‘right’ answer for such a question was, but she guessed she had a 50/50 chance of getting it right so~?

“Hmm…I see~!” Mrs. Grimassi chimed, nodding to herself in understanding. “Okay then, next question!”

Bewildered, (F/n) watched as the woman began to rummage in her apron pockets before pulling something out with a triumphant hum. That something turned out to be various gemstones and minerals, all of different sizes, types, color, and more. (F/n) could spot amethyst, quartz, pearls, and some that just looked like clumps of dirt. Was she…was she just walking around with those in her pocket the whole time? _What_???

Once all of the stones were placed on the table, Mrs. Grimassi gestured towards them with a delicate hand. “Now then dear, please pick a stone.”

“Y…Y-You want me…to pick…a _stone_ …?” She didn’t bother to hide her incredulity this time. Just what the hell was this lady playing at? Was this just some kind of joke? Was she getting pranked by some douchey youtuber and his mom?

The woman nodded and after a few moments of a dawning _‘I-can’t-believe-this-is-really-happening???’,_ (F/n) grimaced before looking down at the assortment before her. All of them glinted in the dull fluorescent lights, each one showing off their natural beauty. After a few moments of thought, she picked one.

Mrs. Grimassi’s smile widened as she reached out to pick up her choice. “I see, I see~! A lovely choice dear…”

“Is there any point to…this?” (F/n) vaguely gestured at…well, this whole situation. This felt less like a job interview and more like the damn Pottermore test!

“Trust me dear, everything has a point. A reason. A _purpose_ ~!” Mrs. Grimassi expounded, holding the stone up to the light to admire it better. “A single thread in a quilt. A baby star in a galaxy. A grand of sand at a beach. Though they might see themselves as small and insignificant, they’re all part of the grand design~!

“Uh huh…” Ah, so she was one of those _“believe in the third eye”_ people. That explained a lot…

The interview continued and unlike the standard questions (F/n) was expecting, like her work experience, she was instead asked weird questions or to do strange tasks. Did she like dawn or dusk more, to pick left or right (of what, she had no idea), to say the alphabet backwards, and so on. It was, by far, the strangest interview she had ever done and a part of (F/n) wondered if she were having some kind of fever dream. Regardless of her bewilderment though, she answered the woman’s questions and followed her instructions without much fuss. The half hour it took seemed to pass in a blink of an eye.

Mrs. Grimassi’s expression was carefully closed off. She was still smiling (hadn’t stopped since she entered the damn place), but her eyes were like a dense fog. She couldn’t tell what she was thinking and that put (F/n) on edge.

_‘Well, did I get the job? Was there even an actual job? Was this all just some elaborate prank? C’mon, throw me a bone here lady!’_

“Welp, looks like you got the job!” Wait what?

“Huh?”

“You got the job my dear~!” Mrs. Grimassi’s eyes twinkled at the disbelief on (F/n)’s face. She…she actually got the job? Seriously?!

“My, you sure do like asking a lot of questions. Quite the curious little thing~!"

Oof, did she say that out loud?

“No, but you said that out loud.” She giggled at (F/n)’s embarrassed blush before pointing to her eyes. “It was written all over your face my dear.”

_‘Nuh uh! Musta been the third eye.’_

“Not quite. You’re so expressive that I barely had to use my first or second eye to see it~!”

_‘Damn it, I did it again!’_

(F/n) clamped a hand to her mouth to stop anymore accidental slip ups. She’d be damned if she said anything else that would jeopardize this job!

Job… _Job_ …J-O-B! She couldn’t believe she got the job! She was so sure this was a scam and a good part of her still believed so, but that paled in comparison to the relief and happiness that she felt.

“You’ll start this Monday.” Mrs. Grimassi chirped, standing up from the booth while patting off some flour from her apron. “Since you’ll be working the night shift, I expect you to show up at 6:45pm. Is that alright with you?”

“Uh yeah, absolutely!” (F/n) eagerly nodded. She’d be more than willing to sacrifice a few hours of sleep for a paycheck _this_ fat. She was nocturnal anyway, so it worked out perfectly!

Her new boss smiled before reaching out and cupping (F/n)’s face in her hands. She reached up (being quite shorter than her) and lightly kissed her on the cheeks, not in a creepy or intimate way, but more as a warm welcome. Though (F/n) knew such customs were common in some European countries, the sudden act still took her by surprise. Jeez, she would appreciate a warning next time…

“Welcome to the Grimassi family (F/n)~!” She bubbled, eyes twinkling with that mysterious light. “I hope you’ll enjoy working with us~♪”

* * *

(F/n) left the restaurant, feeling both relived and lost. Well _that_ certainly was a thing. She walked down the dingy alley, replaying the past half hour over and over in her head. Mrs. Grimassi was a really strange woman, but she seemed nice enough. Still, (F/n) didn’t buy that her only reason for offering so much money for simply delivering pizzas was out of the kindness of her heart. _'Evermind the rule of three?'_ What the hell did that even mean?

(F/n) didn’t know her true motives, if there were any, but one thing that she was sure of was that there was definitely more to this than meets the eye…

And with that lingering thought, (F/n) gave the pizzeria one last look before rushing towards the bus stop. Well, if things got too sketchy, she could always quit…

.

.

.

Mrs. Grimassi hummed as she admired the gemstone her new employee had picked out earlier. The black alley cat from earlier walked out from a nearby table and snuggled up against her leg, looking at the stone curiously. She giggled, watching as it glinted ethereally even in the dim light of her store.

“Fate truly works in mysterious ways~♪” She hummed before pocketing the stone and picking up the cat. She gave him a indulgent scratch behind the ear before gliding towards the backroom. The lights all turned off, and their figures quickly melded into the darkness…


	2. A Strange First Week

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (F/n)'s first week at the Grimassi Pizzeria is a strange one to say the least. But, that's to be expected in the surreal nightmare that is customer service.

_**Chapter 2: A Strange First Week** _

* * *

After working at Grimassi’s Pizzeria for four days, three hours, 45 minutes, and seven seconds, (F/n) could say, without a doubt, that it was a weird as hell place.

From the very first moment that she entered the restaurant, she felt that something was… _off_ about it.

For instance, she had nearly shat herself when she was introduced to Mr. Grimassi on her first day of work. She came in at 6:45pm, just as Mrs. Grimassi requested, and the woman started the shift by happily calling for her husband to meet the new employee.

(F/n) was curious to see Mr. Grimassi as he hadn't been here when she applied. As she wondered what kind of guy had married an eccentric woman like Mrs. Grimassi, the lumbering thuds of _something_ getting closer echoed through out the pizzeria, rattling it like a earthquake.

 _'What in the mother of a duck riding a truck is tHAT?!'_ (F/n) turned a panicked look towards her boss who didn't look the least bit concerned at the disturbing sound. The closer the footsteps got, the stronger her desire to bolt out of the restaurant grew. The only thing that was stopping her from carrying out said desires was her legs which seemed to have turned to jelly. They only allowed her to take a half step back when he ( _it?_ ) appeared at the server’s window.

The figure was shrouded in the darkness and shadows of the kitchen, but she could clearly tell that it was a giant, hulking man who looked like he could barely fit in the room. She shivered as he looked down at her with milky white, pupiless eyes that seemed to _glow_ like a full moon.

“ _Tesoro_ , this is (Full Name)!” Mrs. Grimassi chirped, looking unperturbed at the fact that her husband could give Mr. X a run for his money. “She’ll be working here with us as the new delivery girl~!”

“. . .” Mr. Grimassi said nothing, only letting out a rumbling groan. An odd white smoke would puff from his mouth with every breath, like a smoldering dragon in a cave.

 _‘Oh my G o d-‘_ (F/n)’s knocking knees threatened to give up all together and fall to the ground. Was Mrs. Grimassi really married to something like _that_?!

“Hm?” Said woman titled her head a little, looking at her husband curiously before giggling softly. “Ah, I see! Okay then dear~♪”

She then turned to (F/n) and said- “Antonio asked if you could come closer dear~!”

“Mc‘ _scuse_ me?!” She yelped, looking at the woman as if she had grown a second head. First of all, how the hell did she understand a single thing that he said? All he did was groan! Secondly, the last thing she wanted to do was go anywhere near that man (if he even was one in the first place. Her guess was on ogre)! He looked like he could eat her whole or snap her spine like a tooth pick!

“Oh don’t worry dear, he won’t bite~!” (F/n) highly doubted that, but Mrs. Grimassi seemed at ease with the whole situation. She clearly felt that there was no cause for alarm, but on the other hand she _was_ his wife. She was probably the only one in the whole city who was safe from him.

(F/n) chanced another glance at the man and vainly fought a shiver. Oh, she was _so_ going to die.

With a speed that would make a snail impatient, (F/n) shuffled closer to Mr. Grimassi, a mantra of _“Ohgodohshitohfuck”_ playing in her head in bass boosted I-Max Bluray.

Unfortunately for her, she eventually made it to him and now she had to wait and see what he wanted which was absolute _torture_. Her mind was coming up with all kinds of scenarios, each one more painful and gruesome than the last.

Mr. Grimassi groaned some more and she winced as the strange smoke brushed past her, ruffling her hair and clothes. Ugh, it smelled like rotten _garlic_. Resisting the urge to gag, (F/n) held her breath as a large, meaty hand that looked bigger than her _head_ appeared from the shadows, holding what looked like a food...container? Wait a minute-

 _‘Wha te fuc?’_ She stared down at the container warily, most of her terror melting away at the unexpectedly normal object.

She looked back up at Mr. Grimassi, immediately regretted it because _damn_ were his eyes scary, and looked back down at the box. Was he perhaps…giving this to her? But why? And what could possibly be in it?

(F/n) jerkily raised her hands and accepted the box, feeling a burst of relief when they weren’t crushed to dust by his much bigger one. The box felt relatively light and was cold. Well, at least nothing was moving inside it or making noises.

“Well go on dear, why not open it?” Mrs. Grimassi kindly encouraged from behind her with Mr. Grimassi’s grunt echoing her words as well.

 _‘Shit, now I know how Pandora must’ve felt.’_ (F/n) gulped before carefully opening the box. Well, if whatever was in it were to kill her, she hoped it would be quick and painless.

However, instead of some eldritch horror or rabid creature, the container actually held a… _panna cotta?_

Dumbstruck, she stared down at the small, white dessert that was in the shape of a cute little bear with chocolate details. Sparkles seemed to surround it as it was decorated with fruit, strawberry sauce, and whip cream. The words _“Welcome to the Family”_ was written with chocolate in surprisingly elegant cursive on the plate.

She gaped down at the dessert before looking up at Mr. Grimassi. He was looking down at her, but he also seemed…expectant? As if he were waiting for something?

Unable to get herself to form any meaningful words, all (F/n) found herself saying was- “Er, th…th-thank you, sir?”

The man grunted out some unintelligible words before disappearing from the server’s window and into the darkness. All of her mounting adrenaline escaped her body like air from a balloon. He...he just wanted to give her a welcome gift? What the hell…?

As (F/n) slumped in bewilderment, she could hear Mrs. Grimassi giggle and turned to see the greatly amused smile on her face.

“Antonio was so excited when he heard we had a new employee!” She cooed, holding a hand to her cheek. “He spent all night making that dish. He’s a little shy though, so he was also nervous to see how you’d react! Hehe~ ♪”

 _‘S…S-Shy? Him?’_ (F/n) sweat-dropped, feeling both amused and lost about the whole situation. It was only the first ten minutes of her shift and she was already exhausted. Well, hopefully this would be the most exciting thing that would happen today…right?

W R O N G !

When she first came to Grimassi’s to apply for the job, (F/n) was under the impression that the place didn’t get much costumers. It was located in the back of a secluded alley after all, and even if people were to see it, they wouldn’t dare check it for fear of getting mugged or killed.

However, she was thrown for a loop once again as her first few days of working there proved to be quite busy.

She remembered the first customer that came into the pizzeria and how that experience taught her that she had a lot cut out for her.

She was an old, fierce looking woman whose hunched over form and hooked nose reminded her of a vulture. She was wearing a flower hat the looked as if it had several different extinct species on it and was dressed in a garishly pink feather coat. She walked awkwardly towards the counter, like a bird strutting across the street, and (F/n) expected to hear her caw when she opened her mouth to speak.

“I’m here to pick up an order.” She squawked instead, looking down at (F/n) with dark beady eyes. Mattone, the alley cat who apparently belonged to the Grimassi's, was startled off of the counter by her voice and bounded away, a luxury (F/n) envied at the moment.

 _‘Holy crap, she sounds like Ms. Fowl from Jimmy Neutron!’_ (F/n) swallowed back a laugh as she regarded the woman as politely as she could. “Um, okay ma’am. May I ask for your name?”

The woman frowned, extending her extremely long neck to lean down and size (F/n) up and down. By the impolite snort she gave a few moments later, she wasn’t impressed. She could feel her eye twitch. This bitch…

“My name is Ethel Byrd.” She introduced (huh, fitting name), looking down at (F/n) like she was a worm in the dirt. “Now procure it post haste! I don’t have any more time to waste in this lowly establishment.”

 _‘Then why the hell did you order from here then?’_ (F/n) frowned, feeling an indignant irritation go through her on behalf of the Grimassi’s. Great, she was one of _those_ customers. You know, the ones that looked like they'd call corporate and made it their mission to be as difficult and rude as possible.

(F/n) took in a deep breath, managing to reel back her emotions in order to get back to work. The sooner this vulture got her order, the sooner she'd leave. It was a win/win in her book.

“Mr. Grimassi! A Ms. Byrd is here for her order!” She called back and a few moments later, a large pizza box slid through the server’s window. Man, he sure worked fast!

(F/n) took the pizza box and held it in front of the woman who tried to snatch it out of her hands. She was much quicker however and managed to keep it out of her gnarled claws.

“Hey now! Why don’t you try paying first? That’ll be $12.50.” She snapped and the old woman wrinkled her beaked nose before digging into her purse, grumbling about how rude kids were these days. (F/n) found it funny that this woman was calling her rude when she'd make a scorpion look like a bunny.

Ms. Byrd finally seemed to find the money and reached over to place it on the counter. Instead of the dollar bills she was expecting though, the woman placed a handful of bottle caps, a paper clip, spare change (not nearly enough to cover the cost), keys, a gum wrapper, screws, and what looked like a chain instead.

(F/n) stared down at the pile of junk with a blank face before looking back up at the woman. “…What the hell is this?”

“Hmph! It’s my exchange of monetary value.” She sniffed haughtily, as if she had given gold bars instead. “What else does it look like?”

“Well ma’am, it looks like you just handed over literal trash instead of actual money.” (F/n) shot back, holding the pizza out of her reach. “I said it was $12.50. Not what was at the bottom of your purse.”

“I have paid the appropriate amount for my food!” Ms. Byrd argued back, voice becoming more screechy. “Surely you’re not that much of a _twit_ that you can’t even realize that. Now stop wasting my time and hand me my pizza!”

 _‘Oh, this bitch-'_ “Look lady, I don’t know what your deal is, but I’m not having it." (F/n) felt her temper flare like a bonfire. She knew that since it was her first day, she had to be on her best behavior, but her patience could only last so long in the face of this bull crap. "Either you pay for the pizza with _actual cash_ or you ain’t getting it!”

Ms. Byrd’s feathered coat seemed to ruffle as her face pinched unpleasantly. She pointed at (F/n), her pink painted and clawed nails looking sharp enough to poke an eye out. “Now see here-!”

“Hm~? Is there a problem~?”

The two turned to see Mrs. Grimassi walking out from the back room with a gentle smile on her face. Her eyes lit up at the sight of Ms. Byrd, which (F/n) couldn’t help but be shocked at. She didn’t think it would be possible for anyone to look at the crone with anything other than disgust or fear.

“Oh Ethel! I didn’t know you arrived~!” She chirped, bustling over to her with a friendly wave.

“Hmph! Good Evening Flora…” Ms. Byrd sniffed, looking down at the woman in that haughty manner of her’s that just rubbed (F/n) the wrong way.

“It seems there was quite the commotion going on out here…Is everything alright?”

“ _She-!_ ” Both (F/n) and Ms. Byrd tried to explain at the same time, trading bitter glares and snide remarks as they began to talk over each other.

“This _rude_ and _disrespectful_ girl had the audacity to accuse me of trying to use trash to pay the bill!” The old woman squawked, as (F/n) rolled her eyes.

“Because it is trash, _ma’am_.” She was quick to defend, pointing to the pile on the counter accusingly. “The fact that you thought this could be possibly be enough is as ridiculous as that hat you're wearing!"

“Oh, what nerve!”

Mrs. Grimassi looked between the two bickering women before looking down at the “money” on the counter with calculative eyes. (F/n) couldn’t help the smug feeling in her chest grow at the look. Surely her boss would agree that Ms. Byrd was crazy and kick her out for trying to rip them off. This confidence only grew when she finally opened her mouth.

“I see…” She sighed, before looking up with an indulgent smile. “(F/n) dear, please give Flora her pizza~!”

.

.

.

_Huh?_

“W…W-What?!” She yelped, dumbfounded. S…S-She didn’t just…say what she thinks she just said, did she?!

“Flora has paid the correct amount for her food and has even left a generous tip.” She explained as Ms. Byrd scoffed.

“Which I definitely regret now.”

“Are you kiddin’ me?” (F/n) was _floored_. She knew her new boss was a strange woman, but to go as far as to allow this insanity? Was this perhaps some elaborate prank? A hazing of the new girl?! “B…B-But Mrs. Grimassi-?!”

“Don’t worry dear, everything’s fine.” She soothed with an easy confidence. “Just trust me, kay~?”

 _‘No everything’s not fine. You’re clearly being screwed over here!’_ (F/n) frowned, greatly annoyed at the smug smile on the vulture’s face. However, she knew her stubbornly holding on to the the pizza was going to get them nowhere. So with a not so discrete huff, she held out the food to Ms. Byrd, who snatched it out of her hands with an even more obvious one.

“Honestly, Flora you should really give these children proper employee training.” She sniffed, holding her crocked nose up. “Why I remember back in the day, they used to make the new trainees clean the toilets for weeks before they could work the front counter! That taught them diligence and hard work!”

“I’ll keep that in mind Ethel.” Mrs. Grimassi nodded indulgently, showing a patience that (F/n) could only dream of achieving. “I’d love to chat more, but I’m sure you have a bird watching meeting soon, hm~?”

Ms. Byrd looked ready to go on with her ranting but stopped short at the reminder of her limited time. Instead, she scoffed once more before adopting her usual austere look. “Why yes, I do. Very well then, we’ll continue this conversation later.”

She then sent a quick glare to (F/n), who returned it easily. “And I expect you to learn some manners when I return young lady.”

“Yeah, yeah. Just go and enjoy your pizza.” She grumbled, knowing that she’ll be sure to go on break whenever Ms. Byrd would happen to show up. _‘Ya old crow…’_

Ms. Byrd sniffed haughtily once more before giving a cordial nod to Mrs. Grimassi and walking away. As soon as she left the restaurant with that awkward gait of her's, (F/n) immediately rounded on her boss, filled to the brim with questions.

“Mrs. Grimassi, what-?!”

Said woman immediately raised her hand and (F/n) bit her tongue at the sign to stop. The woman looked up at her, eyes patient and understanding.

“(F/n) dear, Poe once said that words have no power to impress the mind without the exquisite horror of their reality.” She began, much to her employee’s confusion. She didn’t want poem quotes, she wanted answers! “And my dear, as you are right now, my words will have absolutely no effect until you experience the reality of them.”

“What…does that have to do with anything…?” She frowned. Was she saying that (F/n) wasn’t…experienced or mature enough to receive an explanation? The very thought sent an indignant rush through her chest as well as a pang of something…bitter. It wasn’t as if the concept was new or anything. She has been scolded more by her previous bosses than by her own mother. Her temper and awful communication skills often led them to just give up on her. They would cut their loses by cutting her off.

It wasn’t anything new, but it still didn’t get any easier to accept.

(F/n) jumped as she felt something touch her hand, knocking her from her rueful thoughts. She looked to see that Mrs. Grimassi was grasping her clenched fist. She loosened it, the crescent moons from her nails slowly fading from her palms.

“ _Passerotta_ , I'm sure what happened was just a simple misunderstanding. It's your first day and there's still so much for you to learn.” She spoke softly and the certainty in her voice made it seem as if she was reading (F/n)’s mind (and is she were honest, she probably was). “There will come a time when you’re ready, but for now, you have to gain experience.”

“O…O-Okay I guess.” (F/n) frowned, resolving to accept her boss’s words. Though she still had more questions than she knew what to deal with, she’d hold back on them until the time was right…whenever that would be. Still, there was one thing that she just couldn’t drop.

She turned towards the pile of junk that still sat on the counter, gesturing wildly towards it. “But what is up with…with _this_?! Do you guys really accept trash instead of money? If so, then how they heck are you making a profit???”

Mrs. Grimassi giggled at her baffled tone, going over to scoop up Ms. Byrd’s “payment” into her hands. “Our pizzeria caters to a…special group of people who give a special form of payment. It may seem strange at first, but that’s how we’ve always done things.”

“Uh…huh…” She’s right, it was strange. Was this place involved in some weird cult or gang with their own currency or something?

Mrs. Grimassi smiled indulgently, giving her a few gentle pats on the shoulder. “If it’s still hard to accept it, then that’s okay too. It usually takes people time to get used to it. For now, just…take the eccentricities in stride, kay~ ♪”

 _‘Just take the eccentricities in stride, huh...’_ The words bounced in her brain which was trying its damndest to compute. Well, if her doing so would get her through her time working here, then she really had no other choice. She would keep the words in mind from this moment forward.

The hours soon turned to days, and she found Mrs. Grimassi’s words ringing loud and true when doing her deliveries which were just as strange as the walk ins. All the people she delivered to was just so _weird_. And not like, the normal weird either, but more on the uncanny valley side of weird. It was as if every customer that she saw wasn’t a person, but something that was wearing a Party City costume of a person. There was just always something off, be it mannerisms or looks.

For instance, the first house she went to could’ve easily been mistaken for a battle ground. While the outside fit the idyllic suburban look (albeit with a few not so quite modifications), the inside sound like WW3 was taking place. Screams, crashes, laughter, and _explosions_ seemed to get louder the closer she got. She was afraid to even ring the doorbell, tempted to just dump the pizza on the porch and book it out of there, but she knew that she already pushed it with the Ms. Byrd incident and didn’t want to inconvenience the Grimassis anymore.

 _‘Okay, (F/n). You can do this. Don’t be a Weenie Hut Jr.!’_ Feeling a burst of bravery at her little pep talk, (F/n) rung the doorbell, wincing when a particularly loud crash followed soon after.

A few moments later, the door was opened by…no one?

Blinking, (F/n) lowered her gaze to find a haggard looking...man(?) Who barely came up to her knees. His ears were comically bigger in comparison to his tiny body, and they were slightly pointed. He also looked ready to pass out at any moment, the green hue to his skin surely due to him feeling ill. (F/n) was sure that him holding onto the doorknob was the only thing still keeping him standing.

Behind him, pure chaos had been reigned upon his house. All manner of stains covered the walls, furniture laid broken and strewn across the floor, there was a hole in his TV, and what looked like several children tinier than him were running rampant. They were wearing fake (though incredibly well made) wings and were welding toy wands. They were clearly the culprits to this madness, their playing pretend turning into a parent’s nightmare.

“Holy shit…” She muttered and as soon as the man seemed to realize that she was standing there with the pizzas in her hands, his face crumpled in pure relief. “Oh th-thank the _Gods_.” He gasped in a squeaky voice, looking up at her as if she were an angel.

“Er, Grimassi’s pizza, with your delivery…sir?” She raised an eyebrow, watching as the man quickly rummaged through his pockets and pulled out a normal hand sized pouch. She was pretty sure referring to him as an elf would be offensive, but everything about the guy screamed pointed shoes and pixie sticks.

“Here you go ma’am.” He reached up to trade the pouch for the pizzas and he wobbled a little under the weight of it. “G...G-Guh~! Th-These should keep the kids full enough to get ‘em to sl-sleep…Er, h-have a good day miss!”

The elf like man gave her a polite bow before turning and closing the door with his little foot. She could hear him yell something out in a language she couldn’t understand and the sounds of war being replaced with the cheers of the kids.

(F/n) stood there for a moment, struck by the sudden reminder as to why she wasn't in a rush to have children, before looking into the pouch that she was given. Once again, it wasn’t the usual dollar bills or even foreign money, but it wasn’t a bunch of junk either. Instead, it was filled to the brim with what looked like various types of buttons; ivory, brass, plastic, and If she looked closer, some even looked to be made out of _glass_.

An bewildered laugh left her lips as she reached in to pick up a ruby red button. “What the hell man…?” She shook her head in disbelief, holding it up to the sky and watching as it glinted brilliantly, as if set on fire.

 _‘Just take the eccentricities in stride’_ Her boss' words echoed.Okay, yeah she could manage that. Human’s were amazingly good at adapting after all, especially when faced with a good incentive. It wouldn't take long for her strange deliveries to become normal ones.

So when she came to a house filled with stoned out teenagers who looked as if the crawled out of a morgue and smelled like weed and embalming fluid, she didn’t question it.

When she delivered to a hunched back, bearded man who periodically spat blood in a Hello Kitty mug while paying her in rusted nails, she didn’t bat an eye.

When she accepted the box full of lady bugs from a woman with twigs and leaves in her hair and gigantic garden shears covered in mysterious red paint _(‘Because what else it would be?’_ , her mind numbly queried), she smiled and nodded.

It was just another normal day at her new job. The words of taking it in stride became as ingrained in her mind as the mitochondria being the powerhouse of the cell. (F/n) felt proud and happy to know that so far, her first week was starting good and would hopefully continue to do so.

…And then everything came to a heel on that Friday night.

* * *

(F/n) had just finished serving a customer (he wore a fedora and trench coat with the only features of his that she could make out being his odd, slit green eyes that reminded her of a snake) when Mrs. Grimassi had come from the back room, with a strange glint in her eyes. (F/n) knew that look and how it signaled that something especially odd was going to happen. After all, she had seen it when she first arrived for the interview.

“ _Passerotta_ ~!” She chimed, and (F/n) braced herself for whatever she had in store. “I have another delivery for you~♪”

“…Where at?” She asked, leaning against the counter while absently scratching Mattone behind his torn ear.

Mrs. Grimassi’s smile widened. “This delivery will be to a place called… _Amityville Street_.”

(F/n) and Mattone jumped when the sound of thunder and lightning boomed out with uncanny timing. She whipped her head around, heart beating like a drum line. _‘Slim Jesus! Where the hell did that come from?!’_

“Hm~? The news report didn’t say anything about rain today~?” Mrs. Grimassi hummed before turning back to (F/n) with a kind smile. “Anyway, I just wanted to tell you that Amityville street is in a certain gated community a little far from here. Have you heard of it?”

“Not at all…” She hummed. A gated community huh? She hasn’t gotten to get to deliver to one of those yet. (F/n) took the paper that Mrs. Grimassi offered, looking down at the address that was written on it. The longer she stared down at it, the heavier it felt in her hands. Amittyville Street…odd name, but considering that someone from there ordered a pizza from _here_ , she guessed that she shouldn’t be surprised.

“Now (F/n),” She stood at attention at her boss’ tone. It was different than her usual, laissez-faire one. She sounded both calm, yet poignant and firm. It was the type of tone one took when they were about to say something extremely important. “I want you to know that Amittyville St. is a…special place where a lot of important and special people live.”

Now that was surprising. For Mrs. Grimassi herself to say that this place was particularly "special"…but, special in what way? She said a lot of important people lived there, so maybe it was a place where celebrities lived or something…"Even more..."special" than the regular customers?"

“Exactly." She nodded before a calm smile blossomed back to her face. "I want you to know though, that there should be nothing to worry about. While the customers may seem intimidating and even scary at first, I assure you that there’s nothing to fear.”

 _‘You know, when people say that there’s nothing to fear, that usually means there is something to fear…’_ (F/n) bit back the retort after making the mistake of looking into Mrs. Grimassi’s earnest eyes. She was clearly trying to put her at ease and god dammit, it was working. It was spooky how her boss had such a persuasive ability. It was almost as if it were magic.

“After you make your delivery, I have something important that I want to tell you.” She continued, her eyes becoming serious for a moment again. “I wanted to tell you this much earlier, but due to certain _rules_ , I couldn’t. However, I feel that after this delivery, you will have enough experience to be able to hear it…”

“Experience…” (F/n) repeated, feeling an intense curiosity at whatever this important something was. Would she finally be able to learn about all the strange, nearly supernatural things that seemed to gravitate towards this place? And what were these rules that kept her boss from telling her in the first place?

(F/n) could feel her mind racing, but above all that was a strange sense of apprehension and determination. She felt like something crazy, crazier than this whole week _combined_ , was going to happen. It was like a lit match was dangerously close to a fuse, ready for a grand explosion. She took a deep breath, and straightened her shoulders.

“…Okay then, Mrs. Grimassi.” (F/n) nodded, gripping her hand with the paper in it. “I’ll deliver the pizza without fail.”

Her boss smiled as she tightened her grip ever so slightly. The paper in her grasp felt more heavier than ever.

* * *

 _**I edited this while half asleep so please pardon any errors or awkward wording!** _ **🙇🏽♀️**

_**Thanks for reading~** _


	3. Amityville Street

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader arrives at the enigmatic Amittyville Street! But unfortunately for her, it's anything but a routine delivery.

_**Chapter 3: Amityville Street** _

* * *

_‘A little far my ass…’_ (F/n) grumbled, driving up the long winding road while trying not to careen off the edge of it. It had taken a lot of convincing (and heavy bribing) to get Angie to lend her, her car and she knew that if she got so much as a scratch on it, she’d be delivering pizzas by wheelchair for the rest of her life.

Sighing, (F/n) reached over and turned up the volume to the radio, letting the playlist she had been listening to the whole time soothe her nerves. She had been driving for at least an hour now and if it wasn’t for Angie’s GPS, she would be sure that she was lost in the middle of nowhere. The mountain she was on was one she had never been on before, and she honestly wanted to keep it that way if she could help it. After all, she had heard plenty of unsavory rumors about it since she was a child.

Mt. Hemlock was said to be a haunted hot spot; its forest filled to the brim with every ghost and ghoul imaginable. It was popular place for kids to do test of courages and dares there, but they would barely get past the first tree before running away with their tail between their legs. Naturally, these rumors could only just be spooky stories created by the demented minds of those very same kids, but she still shuddered to think if even half of the urban legends here held some truth to them…

“Well, it certainly looks haunted…” She looked around at the gnarled trees that were weaved between the dense mist. She could practically here the “Goosebumps” theme playing in her head, much to her annoyance…

(F/n) tapped her fingers on the steering wheel, feeling a puttering anxiousness in her heart. She didn’t even know people lived up here! And a whole ass neighborhood at that? The fact that they managed to keep it secret was certainly impressive. She was sure people would have a field day with coming up with all kinds of creepy rumors about it.

 _‘Mrs. Grimassi did mention that the people who lived there liked their privacy…’_ She frowned a little. Still…something about the situation rubbed her the wrong way. Why the hell would someone from this gated community order a pizza from so far away? Knowing the clientele that they had, she was sure whoever it was would be an odd ball for sure. And the fact that they lived on this supposedly haunted mountain as well? Totally sus. Probably a demon… or worse.

(F/n) sighed, tightening her grip as she carefully continued to drive. While speculating like this helped pass the time, it was going to get her nowhere. All she had to do was go in, deliver the pizzas, and then she’d be free to go home. It was just going to be like any ol’ normal delivery…er, at least her new normal anyway…

With that thought in mind, (F/n) continued to drive for several more minutes before she finally saw something other than dead trees and mist.

Two warm colored lights peeped out from the curtain of mist, and it took her a moment to see that they were from candle lit lanterns. They were placed on either side of a large, wrought iron gate with the letters “TG” intertwined with each other in elaborate cursive.

“Wow~…” She marveled at the grand sight. “This must’ve been one of those really high-end gated communities. They even have a guard!”

She peered over towards the left side of the gate were a dimly lit security booth was situated. It was occupied by a single guard who was standing up in order to greet her. She slowly drove up to it and lowered her window to do the same but stopped short when she saw his face.

He was an elderly looking man who was gaunt to the point where he looked like a skeleton. His brown, leathery skin stretched and sagged at odd places, his bones protruding like crooked knobs. His salt and pepper, scraggly beard and hair seemed to sit on his face in wild tufts, as if he were electrocuted. Though while he certainly looked creepy as all hell, his sunken brown eyes and yellow toothy grin were jolly and inviting.

“’Ello there little lady. Welcome to Twilight Gardens!’ The security guard happily greeted, his voice sounding scratchy and rough like sandpaper, yet contrastingly warm like buttered rum. “What can I do for ya on this fine evenin’?

 _‘Holy hell, it’s the crypt keeper…’_ Still a little taken aback by the man’s appearance, it took (F/n) a few moments before she regained enough of her wits to answer. “Er, I’m here from Grimassi’s Pizzeria to deliver a couple of pizzas for the Bathormont family on 402 Amityville St. sir.”

The guard’s eyes lit up in pleasant surprise and he let out a wheezy chuckle. Just hearing it made her want to down a whole water bottle to parch her throat.

“Ah, well I’ll be damned! You’re from Flo and Toni’s place?” He asked while fiddling with an unseen panel. “I didn’t know they got a new hire! It’s been a while since one of ya’ll came up here.”

“Really, now…” (F/n) grimaced a little, fingers tapping on the steering wheel. _‘I wonder why…’_

She didn’t have much time to ponder over it before the gate opened with an ancient groan, the sound grating on her ears. The security guard then motioned her in with a toothy grin. “Go on ahead now. The Bathormont house is a couple a blocks down. I heard they was having some kind of gathering up there or somethin’, so there should be a buncha of cars out front. Ya can’t miss it!”

“Er, thank you Mr…?”

“The name’s Jack little lady..!” The now named Jack tipped his hat, giving her a quick wink. “And you be careful now y’here. Hehehe~♪”

(F/n) twitched at what lowkey sounded like a warning but gave him a grateful nod regardless. While he did look as if he just crawled out of a grave, he seemed like a remarkably chipper guy. He had that great-uncle vibe to him that could make anyone feel at ease.

…Still, it wasn’t enough to completely wipe away the bad feeling that she had and she was sure that the only way it would go away was when she left this place. So not wanting to waste another second, (F/n) thanked Mr. Jack before driving on in.

She felt her heart skip a beat when the gate closed behind her with a deafening _‘clang!’_. From where she could see from the rear-view mirror, it looked an awful lot like a cage…

* * *

(F/n) drove through the empty gated community, feeling as if she were disturbing a eerie kind of peace. The streetlamps flickered erratically, barely lighting up the Victorian looking houses that lined the streets like tombstones. The trees and what fauna that wasn’t dried out and dead had a washed-out, almost monochromatic look to them with no lush green in sight. And to add to the spooky factor, a low, dense fog crept along the ground like an skulking beast. Everything just…well, it just had a stale and ancient look to it, as if frozen in time.

 _‘Welcome to ‘Silent Hill’ ladies and gentlemen…’_ (F/n) thought at least a little bit of humor would help loosen the knot in her gut, but all it did was remind her that she was practically driving through the scene of a horror movie! Like, places like this actually existed outside of nightmares? Great. Lovely. She was totally going to get a good night’s sleep after this. _‘Ugh, I wanna go home already…’_

Thankfully, it only took (F/n) a few more moments until she spotted the Bathormont house. Well, mansion really. Actually, not even that. It was more like a small-scale _castle_ that toward above into the sky, silhouetted by the waning crescent of the moon. It reminded her a lot of the burrow from Harry Potter, but more put together and regal.

“O~kay then.” (F/n) parked out in front of the house (just as Mr. Jack said, there were a lot of cars lined up in front of it as well), and put her face in her hands, trying to steel her nerves. Her survival instincts were adamantly refusing to go anywhere near the place. It had serial killer/cannibal/Bing user written all over it! But the rational part of her (which was admittedly losing credibility by the day in her efforts to cope with the weirdness of her job) said that there was no reason to be scared. It was just a routine delivery, just like the rest. She’d be in and out of this creepy place in no time! All she had to do was grow a pair and get ‘er done!

Finding that thought to be the last burst of encouragement (and/or delusion belief) she needed, (F/n) grabbed the pizza bag and exited out of the car. As she stepped out though, her eyes caught on a separate bag that was left on the passenger seat. She stared at it for a few moments, remembering back to when Mrs. Grimassi had handed it to her before she left…

* * *

_“What’s this for?” (F/n) stared at the satchel curiously. It was a worn-out leather one which smelled of mothballs and something metallic. She wrinkled her nose at both the smell and it’s dingy appearance._

_“This my dear is just a little…insurance.” Mrs. Grimassi held the bag over to her. “I’m positive you won’t have to use it, but it’s always better to be safe than sorry~!”_

_“O…kay?” (F/n) looked towards the bag in a new, wary light. Mrs. Grimassi had never given her anything like this before on her other deliveries, and she wondered why her boss felt it was needed now. “What’s in it?”_

_“Ah, well…that’s a secret~♪” She chimed, holding a finger to her lips with a wink. “And because it’s a secret, I want you to promise me that you won’t open this bag unless it’s an emergency, okay~?”_

**_‘Ugh, more secrets. Why can’t she just tell me shit instead of leaving me in suspense?!’_ ** _(F/n) frowned but relented in the end. Mrs. Grimassi had said she would explain everything after this delivery, so she guessed she could deal with one more mystery until then. “Yeah, alright.”_

_"Meravigliosa~!_ " _Mrs. Grimassi’s smiled, waving the bag side to side a little. “Like I said, I’m sure you won’t have to use what’s in this at all! It’s just only for emergencies~♪”_

_(F/n) said nothing as she accepted the bag, surprised to feel that it was quite heavy. **‘What the hell is in this thing, rocks?’** She wondered, glancing over at her boss who just giggled._

* * *

(F/n) bit her bottom lip, trying to decide if she should take the satchel with her or not. She didn’t dare to try and open the bag while she was alone because she had a paranoid feeling that Mrs. Grimassi would somehow know. Because of that, she had no idea what was in it and wasn’t really keen on lugging the ugly thing around with her. Her boss had said she would most likely not need it anyway…

“But, still…” She tapped her fingers, taking a quick glance at the Bathormont house. She shivered despite her work windbreaker (a gift from the Grimassi's) blocking the chill that passed by and made up her mind. Emergency or not, whatever was in that bag would only benefit her so it would be silly of her to not take it. Like Mrs. Grimassi said, it was better to be safe than sorry.

(F/n) reached in to grab the satchel, putting it over her shoulder while trying to ignore it’s unpleasant smell. With a resolute nod, she closed the door to the car and began to walk up towards the house.

The rustle of leaves, hoots of owls, and her own footsteps were all that she could hear in the quiet neighborhood. Another wind blew past her and she zipped her windbreaker all the way up in response. It was oddly cold here, especially since it was early August…

 _‘Man this place is huge~!’_ She whistled, admiring it’s grand beauty now that she could take a closer look at it. The mansion was painted a black that was darker than the night itself with gorgeous stained-glass windows that were dimly lit from the inside. From what she could see, the front lawn was neat and well-trimmed, accented with bushes of black and red roses and old lanterns for light.

 _‘Well someone’s got an aesthetic.’_ She snorted, walking up the wooden porch steps that creaked under her weight. It truly looked like a gothic fantasy! Her middle school self was q u a k i n g right now.

(F/n) cautiously walked towards the large double oak doors that were stained a sooty black. “Let’s see… Doorbell, doorbell- ah, there you are!” She grinned triumphantly, finding the small button which was just as ornate as the rest of the house.

 _‘Rich people…’_ She rolled her eyes as reached over to press it-

_There was a movement from the window next to the door._

“Huh?!” She flinched back, eyeing the window carefully. What was that? Could…could that have been the customer? Maybe they were checking to see if she was here? But if so, then why weren’t they opening the door? It was hard to see who or what it could’ve been behind the stained-glass window, but if she concentrated hard enough, she could almost make out the form of a per-

_“Teh…ehe…heh.”_

A shiver ran down her spine at the odd chittering that came behind her. She whipped around only to see…nothing at all? The front yard was just as empty as when she first arrived, though this fact only served to unsettle her more. She could’ve _sworn_ that she heard something…

 _‘It’s…just your imagination (F/n)…’_ She tried to rationalize. It was like when you watch a scary movie and you become paranoid of every little thing! The chittering sound was probably a tree branch scratching at the walls or something.

 _‘Are you stupid?! You’re acting like one of those dumbasses in a horror movie! Screw the pizza and get the hell out of hERE-!’_ Stubbornly pushing her frantic thoughts aside, (F/n) reached towards the doorbell-

 _‘Hoe, don’t do it!’_ Her mind warned.

“Imma do it.” She challenged back.

_‘Don’t do it!’_

"Imma do it!"

_'Don't-!'_

She pressed the button.

“Fuck, I did it.”

_‘Yeah, no shit Sherlock.‘_

Both (F/n) and her conscience jumped at the sudden chime that rung out through the night. It was playing a slow, somewhat music box like tune that took her a few moments to recognize.

“Is that…the _“Hearse Song”_?” She grimaced, while inwardly sighing. _Great_ , it just had to be a song that nightmares were made of!

The chime went on and on, it’s echoing much too loud. Or perhaps everything else was just so quiet that it sounded loud? She suddenly felt like millions of hushed eyes were staring at her in anxious anticipation, as if they were awakened by the dirge like chime. The very thought sent shivers up her spine and she began to rub her arms that were riddled with goosebumps.

(F/n) stood there, listening to what felt like four verses of the eerie song. Anxiety steadily growing, she shakily reached out to use the intricate door knocker to try to get the owners attention faster and to drown out the sound.

But then the door clicked…and clicked…and clicked and clicked and _clicked_.

She stood there, heart speeding up as she listened to what sounded like a dozen types of locks clicking and turning open. Time seemed to haltingly crawl until the last lock on the door clicked, the doorbell chime fading out soon after. All became still and hushed.

 _‘Nope, nope, nope…’_ (F/n) took a few steps away from the door. _‘That was a heaping helping of nope drizzled with ‘fuck that shit’ sauce.’_

Slowly ( _ever so slowly_ , like the mystery person behind it was teasing her, keeping a grip of suspense on her) the doorknobs turned. It was so horror movie cliché that (F/n) had to quickly remind herself that she wasn't in a slasher film and that she was in real life.

_‘Don’t be scared. It’s probably just some guy playing a shitty prank.’_

The knobs stopped and the large doors loudly creaked open on their hinges.

_‘A prank. It’s just a prank.”_

She subconsciously held her breath, peering into the darkness that greeted her.

_‘A prank-?‘_

She blinked and was greeted with a pair of glowing red orbs.

_‘Or not.’_

_“Peter Pieper Porked a Pepper-!”_

_“Pardon me-?“_

**_“PIZZA’S HERE!!!”_ **

The shrill cry of what sounded like dozens of excited children assaulted (F/n)’s ears, making them ring discordantly with her pounding heart. It was instinct that made her turn around to see the source of it, and half expecting to see a bus full of kids that literally appeared out of nowhere, she was instead greeted with-

 _'Holy macaroni Batman.'_ She watched with a buffering horror as what looked to be a grotesque red beady-eyed, leathery winged, fang infested wave came hurtling towards her.

-a swarm of **_bats_**.

The next few moments (minutes? Hell, maybe even hours?!) were a skin crawling blur as the swarm slammed into her, knocking her off her feet. It was as if they were trying to snatch her up and take flight into the night, probably to take her to their cave where they would drink her blood! She felt weightless, nauseous, and terrified; the perfect ingredients for a cocktail of vomit that was gonna end up on somebody’s floor if she wasn’t grounded _now_ -

Underneath the shrill cry of the bats and her own screaming (which she was sure that she was doing if the rattling in her throat was any indication), she could hear a startled curse from whatever she was knocked into ( _'Hey there, sorry to barge in on ya.'_ ). She could feel something constrict across her waist like the bars to a roller coaster as she and her impromptu cushion fell to the ground with a painful thud.

 _‘I hate my life…’_ She groaned, trying to will the ringing in her ears away. God, she could already feel a massive headache coming on and her palms stung from where they scraped the ground in an effort to catch herself. Hell, what was the point of falling on someone if she still got hurt?

 _“_ …Hey. _”_

She grimaced at the uncomfortably close voice. _‘Ugh, no talking please. I can’t deal with that right now. Just shut up forever.’_

 _“Hey.”_ Uh oh, whoever that was sounded irritated. Did she say that out loud? “I don’t give a shit if you can’t deal with it or not. Just get up already.”

 _‘Shit, I did.’_ (F/n) groaned and lifted herself up with shaky arms. _‘Y’know for a cushion, he sure is sassy.’_

“What the hell did you just call me?”

“Oh _wow_ , that was a nice power nap~!” (F/n) mocked yawned, sitting up with stretch. “I feel completely recharged!”

“ _Tch_ …” Oh, a growl this time! Someone had anger issues ( ~~not that she could talk cough~~ -). Deciding that now would be a good time apologize to whoever she bumped into before she got punched, (F/n) finally opened her eyes…only to freeze in shock.

 _‘Mother of Adonis…’_ Her poor lizard brain couldn’t compute the level of poreless HD beauty before her. It belonged to a guy who looked to be around her age with tawny skin that was more on the paler side. His curly, raven black hair was put into a messy ponytail and his equally dark eyes had tired lines under them. This paired with the week-old stubble on his chiseled face would normally make a person look like a bum. However, these traits only seemed to positively enhance his attractiveness, giving him a rough and edgy look from a avant-garde European cologne commercial.

“ _Excuse me_ , I don’t mean to sound rude.” The irritated voice of the guy pierced through her stupor and she realized that he was glaring at her darkly. “But would you mind getting the fuck off of me? You’re quite heavy.”

 _'God, his voice is like Romanian coco butter-'_ (F/n) started, looking down to see that she was straddling the guy in a way that certainly didn’t look kid friendly to the outside observer.

“Oh shit-!” She could feel her cheeks burn as she jumped off of him, sincerely hopping that when she landed, a hole would swallow her up as well.

The guy sat up with a cat like stretch, groaning as the bones to his long limbs cracked and popped. She noticed that he was also dressed quite casually, wearing a slightly oversize black silk dress shirt, black and red pinstripe silk pajama pants and- wait, where those _bat_ slippers?

 _'Oh my God, those are so cute! I wonder where he bought them.'_ She blinked at the cute black slippers, their beady red eyes reminding her of the holy fucking s H I T-

“T…T-The bats!” She cried, whipping her head around to see where those evil menaces had gone. “Where did they-?!”

“What nonsense are you speaking now?” The guy grumbled, standing up while brushing off the dust from his clothes.

(F/n) turned to him, her earlier panic creeping back up into her voice “The freakin’ bats man! There were like, dozens of them that just came outta nowhere and started attacking me!”

The guy just raised a skeptical (and perfectly trimmed, might she add) eyebrow at her. “What on Earth are you talking about? There were no bats. All there was, was you tackling me to the ground and screeching like one. Hmph, nearly cracked my damn skull open...you also made me drop my drink, so that was nice...”

She chanced a look over at the glass of wine that had spilled all over the floor. She would've felt guilty for inadvertently wasting such an expensive drink if she wasn't so freaked out right now.

“B…B-But I saw them!” (F/n) frowned up at him, pointing a thumb behind her. “I felt them! Hell, I even heard them! Or, er- I heard something. Like, a bunch of kids screaming about pizza!”

“Kids huh?” He hummed, placing a hand to his chin in thought. “Ah, well in that case perhaps you were just confused by my little cousins.”

“Y…Y-You’re _cousins_?”

“That’s right” He nodded. “They were playing somewhere outside and must’ve been alerted by you when you rang the doorbell. Though I can’t blame you for mistaking them for bats. They’re all a virulent bunch of pests after all, especially when it comes to food.”

(F/n) just gaped up at the guy. There was so many things wrong with that explanation that she didn’t even know where to start. There was absolutely no one outside when she had pulled up, and she was sure that she would’ve noticed a group of children playing in the yard. And even if they were out there, it was close to midnight! Why would they be out there in the first place?

The guy seemed to sense her skepticism and gave a tired sigh. _“How troublesome…I told those little bastards to not cause me any trouble…”_

(F/n) watched as he walked towards her, his footstep soundless and smooth like an ice skater's. When he reached her, he crouched down while holding up his pointer finger. She noticed that all his nails were long and sharp, painted an obsidian black. There was also ring on his finger, with a big red ruby in the center.

“Now, now. Let’s drop all this bat nonsense okay?” He spoke in an oddly soothing tone before pointing his finger at the middle of her forehead. “Besides, I’m sure you’re here for something else, no?”

(F/n) felt her mind go fuzzy for a moment, but it didn’t last long. In the next second, she was nodding in agreement to his words while standing up. “Uh, Yeah! I’m here to deliver a couple of pizzas to a Mr. Stefan Bathormont. Are you him?”

“No, that’s my father.” He corrected with a sigh, standing up as well. “He, my mother, and the rest of my older relatives are out for the moment. My name is Emmanuel.”

“I see…well, anyway here’s your pizzas!” She held the boxes out to him, only to realize that her hands were empty!

“What the hell?! Where did they-?!” She quickly looked around, even checking the pizza bag only to see that it was empty as well.

“Are you alright?” Emmanuel asked, crossing his arms with a frown. "You look constipated..."

“Er, yeah! I...I-I mean no! Well, It’s just that...I don’t know where the pizzas went…” He blinked before tilting his head a little, the hard edges on his face becoming soft and tender.

“Don’t you remember?” He spoke in that soothing tone once more, and she found herself hanging on every word. “One of the butlers came and retrieved it. Don’t you think it’s rude to forget a face so soon?”

(F/n) stalled for a second before her eyes lit up in realization. “O…O-Oh yeah, you’re right! Heh, sorry man. I guess I’m more tired than I thought.” She rubbed the back of her neck with an abashed smile. She wasn’t sure if it was her imagination or not, but she thought she saw his lips quirk up for a second.

“Quite.” He muttered before reaching into his pants pocket. “So, how much?”

“Huh?”

“The pizzas, what else?" He rolled his eyes and she frowned at the ~~sass~~ (wait, what sass?). "How much are they?”

“Oh!" She shook her head a little, trying to get her thoughts in order. It wasn't like her to be so scatterbrained! "U...U-Uh, it's $65.95.”

“ _La naiba_ , that’s expensive…” He grumbled and all she could do was shrug. They were the ones who ordered three large pizzas with cheesy bread after all. It wasn’t gonna be cheap. “Alright, hold on a second…”

(F/n) was surprised to see what Emmanuel soon pulled out. It wasn’t weird or random objects like buttons or empty bottles, but actual money!

“Hm? What’s wrong with you now?” He shot her a odd look, absently flicking through the bills in his hand for the appropriate amount. Noticing that her jaw had dropped in her surprise, she closed it with a quick ‘clack’. It’s been a minute since she’s received actual money from customers that she was just taken aback.

“Er, it’s nothing.” She quickly cleared her throat as Emmanuel rolled his eyes before going back to counting out the money. _‘Smooth, (F/n)~! You’ve definitely been making yourself look good since you came here!’_

After a few more moments of counting, he held out the money to her dismissively. It was clear that his socializing limit had been spent and wrung dry. “Alright, here’s $70. You can keep the change.”

(F/n) felt a little irritated at his attitude but could also sympathize with him some. Now that all the adrenaline had worn off (from what, she couldn’t quite remember), she also felt exhausted and wanted this conversation to end. There was a small part of her that felt drawn to him like a moth to a flame, but that part was smothered by all the fucks she couldn’t be bothered to give.

A larger part of her felt relived though. The delivery had, more or less, gone off without a hitch! In hindsight, she couldn’t remember why she was so nervous and on edge in the first place. Just as she predicted, it was just another normal delivery~

Doing a little victory dance in her head, (F/n) smiled and reached out to take the money. “Thanks dude! I hope you can enjoy your meal-!“

(F/n) felt like she swallowed her tongue when Emmanuel suddenly reached out and snatched her wrist. His grip was tight and deathly cold, like a brace made of ice. Bewildered, she looked up to see that he was staring at her intently. Well, to be more accurate he was staring at the palm of her _hand_.

“U…U-Um, excuse me? But what-?” Before she could finish asking her question, Emmanuel raised his own hand and pointed at her again. She then felt every nerve in her body go still and her mouth zip shut. She realized with a dawning horror that she couldn’t _move_. _‘What the hell?!’_

As she struggled to break out of her sudden paralysis, Emmanuel leaned down to sniff her hand. He took in a deep inhale, as if he were smelling freshly picked flowers, and his pupils dilated to the size of black buttons as he breathed out shakily. A shiver (which was certainly not the pleasant kind) wracked her body as her mind began to run wild in panic

_‘What the hell?! What the hell?! What’s going on?! Why…Why can’t I move?! It feels like I’m frozen or something! And something's...off about this guy. He’s acting weird. I mean, he just smelled my hand! The fuck?! Why did he do that?! Don’t tell me…is he some kind of pervert?! Oh you’ve gotta be kidding me-‘_

(F/n) took in a deep breath as she saw her captor move. She didn’t know what he was going to do next, but whatever it was would definitely not be good.

And so she had no choice but to watch as Emmanuel took another whiff of her hand, opened his mouth, and _licked her palm_ …

.

.

.

What. The. Fuck?

(F/n) felt her heart stutter and die as his tongue languidly traveled down her palm. His saliva was just as cold as his hand was, and she flinched at the sting it produced. She remembered, belatedly, that she had scrapped her hands earlier when she had fallen. They were surely scratched up and bleeding, a fact that Emmanuel seemed to revel in. After he had licked all the blood away from her hand, he let out a shuddering breath, grip tightening around her wrist.

“ _D…D-Dumnezeule_ , that’s _good_ ~” He husked out, slowly licking his lips. When he lifted his head to finally look at her, she saw that his once coal black eyes now glowed a predatory crimson.

And it was here that (F/n) realized that this maybe wasn’t going to be such a routine delivery after all.

* * *

 _**Ladies and Gentleman, I do believe we got ourselves a mother truckin' VAMPIRE!!!** _ **🧛🏽‍♂️** _***Slaps neck* come and get ya'll juice~** _

_**How will our dear reader get out of this situation? You'll just have to wait and see~** _

_**Thanks for reading~** _


	4. This Customer Sucks!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get worse for the reader before they get better. This vampire's become a serious pain in the neck!

_**Chapter 4: This Customer Sucks!** _

* * *

You know…in hindsight, it was pretty damn obvious. Like, bright neon lights and annoying alarms obvious. Really, she was embarrassed that it took her so long to realize it.

The strange pizzeria. The strange Grimassi’s. The Strange customers. They all began to make sense, like a blurry picture that suddenly became HD. In that respect, (F/n) felt bad for making fun of all those people in horror movies, calling them stupid and dense for not realizing the dangers that they were in. She was sure that if someone was watching her right now, they’d be shaking their heads in disappointment too.

Now she wasn’t a complete skeptic of the supernatural. She was never afraid of any monster under the bed, had never seen a ghost in the corner of her room, and didn’t think moth man would come swooping in to steal her away (contrary to what the fanfics said). However, she knew that there were things on this Earth that could never be logically explained and felt that it was better to ere on the side of caution when it came to said phenomena. All in all, she was pretty neutral about the whole thing. She didn't know if it was real or not, and she was fine with that.

However, being hand molested by a sexy vampire that she had literally met ten minutes ago had _certainly_ opened her eyes.

(F/n) was frozen stiff, either from fear or something else unexplainable. The only thing that did move was her heart, which was pounding in her ears like a dozen taiko drums. Never before had she felt such a nauseating discomfort such as this and she wondered if this is how mice felt when looking up into the eyes of a hungry cat.

 _‘There’s nothing to worry about passerotta~! It should be an easy delivery passerotta~!’_ The words of Mrs. Grimassi echoed in her head mockingly. Safe her ass, this was literally one of the worst ways a delivery could’ve gone! How could her boss possibly believe that it was safe to send her here? She knew the woman was something of a ditz, but this was ridiculous!

 _‘But then again, she also let me deliver to other places as well…’_ She grimaced, thinking back to all her past deliveries and realizing what made them so strange. How many of those customers were monsters as well? How many of them had thoughts of attacking her like Emmanuel here? How many close calls to death did she have and didn't even know it?

She could feel a bitter stab of betrayal in her chest as her thoughts went towards the Grimassi's. Mr. Grimassi was a no brainer, but was Mrs. Grimassi a monster as well? Were all those pet names and sweet words of encouragement she gave her a bunch of bull in order to get her to let her guard down? Did she send her on these deliveries in hopes that she wouldn’t come back?

_-“I didn’t know they got a new hire! It’s been a while since one of ya’ll came up here.”-_

A lot of people like Mr. Jack had seemed surprised that she was working for the Grimassi’s, and now she had a feeling why. It’s because the other deliver boys and girls didn’t last long. The suspiciously high pay and easy hours would attract any desperate loser likes lambs to the slaughter…

 _‘A desperate loser like me...god dammit, I’m such an idoit!‘_ She felt her eyes burn with frustrated tears. Great. Just great! The one person that she felt some inkling respect towards and didn’t want to disappoint, and she sacrifices her to a vampire. She really knew how to pick 'em, huh. _‘A grade 'A' double quarter pounder idiot with large fries and a diet drink-‘_

Emmanuel's deep hum halted her self-loathing. Oh yeah. She was still being felt up the by this asshole. _Lovely_.

His hand began to move up her arm, and despite the fact that she was still wearing her windbreaker, she could feel goosebumps travel after his cold, _dead_ touch.

 _‘Bad touch! Bad touch!’_ She grimaced, overcome with the intense urge to bathe in hand sanitizer and bleach. No matter how much she wanted to smack his hands away and run as far away as possible, she couldn’t move a muscle. All she could do was stand there and helplessly watch as his clawed fingers latched on to her jacket zipper.

“You know…I read that the oxygen-rich blood that flows through human arteries and capillaries is bright red.” He mumbled, seemingly to himself, as the sound of the zipper ripped through the tense silence. “However, after giving up its oxygen to your bodily tissues, your blood becomes a dark red as it races back to your heart through your veins.”

 _‘What the hell is this dude talking about?’_ She gulped as her plain T-shirt and, most alarmingly, her neck was revealed. Her efforts to escape renewed as his fingers languidly trailed back up her body.

“However, your blood is a shade of red I’ve never quite seen before. Not a scarlet or a wine, but something more…” He hummed, his fingers brushing against her neck and sending a torrent of shivers through her body. The contrast between his ice-cold touch and her flushed skin was uncomfortably startling. “…Rich. Or perhaps fresh? It’s hard to explain. Irritatingly so. Granted I’m not a fucking expert in colors in the first place, but I guess it doesn’t really matter in the end, hm?”

“W…W-Wha…th…ha…” Her attempt to retort was pathetically slurred and she couldn’t help but feel annoyed when he smirked at her in response.

“You’re quite the conversationalist aren’t you?” He scoffed, raising his free hand to point at her forehead. “I’m not, however, so why don’t you just keep quiet yeah? You’ll ruin my appetite...”

(F/n) recognized the move from earlier. He had done it twice now, with this being the third. Was he…actually using some mind control on her or something? She bit her lip, glaring at him with as much fire as she could. This bastard…how dare he?! She was a person, not a doll that he could just manipulate!

The growl that left her weighted lips elicited another snide smirk from him, but when he turned to look at her she could see his pupils dilate. She realized too late the reason why when she tasted a metallic tang on her tongue. In her frustration, she had managed to bite her lip until it drew blood.

 _‘Fan-freaking-tastic you dumbass.’_ She wanted to kick herself. Or Emmanuel. Or both. What she wanted was to get this guy away from her, not bait him with free samples!

His fingers went from touching her neck to fiercely cupping her jaw in a few moments. She could feel her cheeks puff out in an involuntary pout as he leaned down closer to her. She found that the drunken enrapturement on his face was much more alarming than his snide teasing from earlier. “ _Uimitor_ …the color…the smell…the _taste_ …it’s all so divine...”

 _‘What, should I be flattered or something?!’_ Her snark was more of a defense mechanism at this point. Anything to keep her from becoming hysterical at the fact that there was a god damn vampire intent on sucking her blood and there was virtually nothing she could do to about it. She was still frozen, her muscles straining in an effort to move. To do something! She was going to die if she didn’t!

“It’s…why is that…that I can’t-?” His breathless words brushed against her lips and her heart skipped a beat when she realized how close he was. Oh no, no, _no_. Hand licking she can kind of deal with, but kissing? That was crossing the line!

Perhaps it was the adrenaline that finally got her to move. Perhaps it was the pure disgust at the idea of having some stranger put his lips on her. Perhaps she was fed up with being dehumanized into a juice box? Perhaps it was an indignant combination of all three. Regardless, it was the boost that she needed.

"Hiya!"

_CRACK!_

The next few moments were a blur of action. A dull pain blossomed in her forehead, but she was thankful that it was there instead of her neck. She stumbled backwards, hands flying over to where the pain was coming from.

“G…G-Gah! _La Futu-i_!” He cried, holding a hand to his head as well. She felt her own throb in triumph and pain. Good. She hoped that bastard was in much pain as she was! She had never head-butted a person before and probably never will again, but it had certainly gotten the job done so she’d call it a success!

“T…T-Take _that_ you sonnuva bitch!” She panted, quickly regaining his attention.

“Y…Y-You! Did…Did you just fucking _head-butt_ me?” He gaped, eyes wide with shock and outrage. “Like, dishonest to Satan head-butt me??? The fuck is wrong with you?!”

“What’s wrong with me?! What’s wrong with you?!” She snapped back, pointing an accusatory finger at him. “You’re the perverted creep who just tried to suck my blood!”

“ _W…W-What?!_ ” He placed a hand to his chest, scandalized. “Are you fucking insane?! Why the hell would I ever do such a thing?! What do you think I am a degenerate monster?!”

“Uh, _duh doy_ ~!” She snapped, waving her finger at him wildly. “The red eyes? The fangs? You literally describing my circulatory system like an erotica novel? What part of that doesn’t scream monster to you?!”

“Th…Th-That’s absurd!” He huffed, crossing his arms with a scowl. “You’re as delusional as you are obnoxious and loud. I don’t know how you came up with such a ridiculous lie, but I’d appreciate it if you didn’t involve me in your demented fantasies!”

“Oh, a fantasy huh?” She growled before holding up her hand which was riddled with little bite marks and already forming hickeys. “Then how the hell do you explain this?!”

At this, Emmanuel's eyes widened, looking at her abused hand in shock. A beat of awkward silence passed between them before he returned to his usual scowl, though now it looked more uncomfortable than annoyed.

“I…“ She could hear him mumble as he looked down pensively. “I never…I didn’t-“

“Didn’t what? Practically deep throat my hand?” She continued on her rant, holding the hand in question towards her chest protectively. “You ever heard of social distancing?! Vampires may not be able to catch colds, but I can so keep your gross corpse germs away from me and-“

“Will you shut up for a second?!” He snapped and (F/n) was prepared to pitch her bitch fit up another decibel just to spite him. However, what he said next stopped her tongue dead.

“Are you…” He crossed his arms, glancing at her haughtily. “Are you sure you’re not mistaken?”

“Wah-?!” (F/n) gaped at him silently…for half a second. Then she started yelling again. “Mistaken?! The hell do you mean a mistaken?! You think I just imagined everything that just happened? Cause I’ll have you know that I’ve been out of my "Twilight" phase for years and-“

“No you _idiot_!” He snarled, before becoming oddly silent. Confused, she saw that he was looking at her not in that dazed, hungry way from earlier…but in bewilderment. “It’s just that…that I don’t recall doing that.”

“…What?”

He placed and hand to his mouth and looked to the side, brow furrowed. “What you just described. I don’t remember any of that...”

“You don’t remember…?” She repeated, also frowning. Another awkward silence stretched between them as they cautioned each other. “Are…you screwing with me right now? What do you mean you don’t remember?”

“It’s as I said. I. Don’t. Remember.” He bit out, looking back towards her. “The only thing I do recall is handing over the money and you head-butting me right after.”

“But…how is that even possible?” She shuffled in place, not liking how thrown for a loop she was. “You got, like really bad short term amnesia or something?”

“No I don’t.” His response was both dry and biting. “But perhaps…if you tell me what I said and did…I could remember something. That is, if you're not lying."

He wants her to tell him what happened? (F/n) didn’t bother to hide her grimace. Just thinking about his actions and how he looked doing it unsettled her. “....Ugh, well you said and did a bunch of creepy stuff like touch my neck talk about how pretty my blood color was? You also looked high as hell, like you weren't all there?”

Emmanuel went statue still at this before his face exploded into a vibrant blush which is weird cause she wasn’t sure he even had the blood in him to do that.

“W…W-What?! I did- I said-?!” He stumbled over his words before pointing wildly at her “Y…Y-You lying sow!"

(F/n) was taken aback by his reaction. And then she realized what he said and got angry again. “What the fuck did you just call me?!” She demanded as he crossed his arms, looking agitated.

“Bullshit! I…I-I call bullshit!” He snapped, the anger on his face contrasting greatly with his fierce blush. “There’s no way I would do something so…so uncouth and salacious!”!”

“What the- are kidding me right now?” She felt like ripping his hair out in frustration. What was with this guy?! “What part of what I told you sounded _“uncouth and salacious”_? That wasn’t even the worst thing you did!”

“Yes but- I can’t even imagine myself doing any of th…th-that!” He mumbled and if she didn’t know any better, she’d say he was embarrassed. “You make me sound like one of those simp bastards in those shitty romance novels my mother reads!”

“Well bro, whether you believe or not, it happened!” The longer she talked with this guy, the more bewildered she became. His emotions and vocabulary was all over the place. How can someone go from archaic words like “sow” and “uncouth” to “simp” at the drop of a hat?

“Ugh, just…just wait a moment.” He held up one hand while the other pinched the bridge of his nose. “I literally just woke up like 30 minutes ago, so my brain is lagging right now. Why don’t we just take a moment and-“

“Yeah no, screw that.” She snapped, already turning towards the front door. He was surely brain dead if he thought she was going to stay here a second longer and deal with his madness. “I don’t have time for this crap. If you’re still hungry than eat the pizza your dad ordered!”

There was a good few feet between them, but in her humble opinion he was still much too close. He, on the other hand, clearly thought differently.

She had just opened the door to leave only for it to slam shut. The bang it created was like a gunshot in her ears and she gulped when she saw the clawed hand responsible for it.

Emmanuel was eerily quiet, but she could _feel_ him breathing down her neck. Just like everything else about him, it was cold as ice.

“Hey now…” That weird, silky quality to his voice was back as he lowered his head to whisper in her ear. “You were about to make quite the rude exit. We were in the middle of a conversation.”

“W…W-Were we...?” She shot back, though it came out weaker than she wanted. “I…was pretty sure the conversation was over.”

“No, no, no. We still have _much_ to talk about…” His hand slid from the door to her chin and she grit her teeth as he turned her head to look at his bright red eyes. “Don’t we _Purcel_ ~?”

She could already feel her body lock up from his weird paralysis powers, accelerating her panic. Oh, hell naw! Who knows what this maniac would do if she couldn’t move, especially since he was getting more and more handsy? She didn’t know what was going on with Emmanuel's mood swings, but she didn’t have the time nor patience for it!

 _‘Welp, second times the charm!’_ She braced herself for the discomfort of reverse head-butting someone. Despite that, it was proving to be an effective technique as Emmanuel, who was too busy ogling her neck, didn’t see it coming. She felt the satisfying impact of hitting his nose and for good measure, she stomped on his foot with as much strength as she could.

“Gah! _La naiba_ , again?! _Seriously_?!” He stumbled back, holding a hand to his nose with a furious expression.

“That’s my line!” She snapped before turning to open the door and finally getting the hell out of there. Unfortunately, her plans were dashed when she saw how the locks had magically relocked themselves. Her face paled as she saw how each one looked more complex than the last. _‘What the hell?! When did he-?!”_

She whipped around to see Emmanuel getting his boundaries back. There seemed to be no end to his powers and that was both terrifying and annoying. Her chances of survival were dwindling by the second!

 _‘Escape! I need to find somewhere else to escape!’_ Her eyes darted around before settling on a nearby hallway. Without wasting another second, she bolted towards it, praying that it wouldn’t lead to a dead end.

“H…H-Hey wait a- gah, dammit wait I said!” He called after her and she could hear his footsteps quickly following from behind.

 _‘God damn he’s fast! Stupid vampire speed boost.’_ She picked up the pace, running more on panic fueled instinct than actual thought. All she knew was to take corners, to not slow down for a second, and to not look back or else he’ll catch up.

"Ugh, for the love of all that is holy somebody help me!!!" She cried, voice echoing the halls of her potential tomb.

* * *

_Crack!_

". . ."

"...Hm~?" Mrs. Grimassi looked up from the jars of dirt in her arms (the garden gnome had been quite generous in his tip!) and over towards the server window. Her husband was standing there, concealed in the shadows like always. She smiled, looking up at his milky white eyes. "What's wrong _tesoro_ ~?"

“. . .” The puffs of weird smoke left Mr. Grimassi like a steam train and she tilted her head curiously at him. "Hm~? The plate that you were going to use for (N/n)'s tiramisu...has a chip in it?"

A few moments passed before he held out the plate in question which looked like a quarter in his massive palm. Indeed, there was unsightly chip in it!

"Eh~? How odd..." She pouted, putting down the jars and picking up the plate to get a better look at it. "I could’ve sworn I put a strength enchantment on all the dishes! Could they be wearing off already~?"

Mr. Grimassi let out another groan and Mrs. Grimassi looked back up at him with mild surprise.

"Hm~? You wonder how she's doing?" She placed a hand to her cheek thoughtfully. "True... _passerotta_ has been gone for a while now. That neighborhood is quite far, but she should've been back by now…”

“. . .”

Mrs. Grimassi giggled and placed a reassuring hand into her husband’s. “Oh, you’re such a worry wort dear! (N/n) is very capable young lady, so I’m sure she can handle herself in any situation~! Besides, Stefan and Juli are surely looking after her if anything happens. She probably just got a little lost is all~!"

Mr. Grimassi was silent at this, but the gentle way he squeezed his wife’s hand seemed to be enough of an answer to her.

"Plus, even if she was in trouble, she still has the bag that I gave her.” She winked with a easy smile. “Along with the emergency items, _they_ should help her out, no matter the problem~!"

Yes, she thought with a small giggle. She was sure her dear employee was doing just fine~!"

* * *

(F/n) was not doing fine. In fact, she was the exact opposite of _fine_. Her lungs ached, her muscles burned, and she felt like she was going insane! Why? Because she had been running around this god forsaken Winchester house on steroids for more than a hour!

Every twist had a turn, every up had a down, every left had a right, and don’t even get her started on the doors! Oh, she got a headache just thinking about them! She didn’t know what madman had built this place, but they needed their architecture license revoked for the rest of their life and onto the next for good measure.

Some doors led to more doors, others led to a wall (if her sore nose didn’t attest to that), and some just didn’t make sense. She saw a couple on the roof, some on the floor, and others opened only to show increasingly smaller doors to the point where even a mouse would have trouble getting in.

One particularly terrifying incidence involved a door that led to the outside. Finally, an escape from this hell hole! A crumb of luck had finally gone her way! It would’ve been fantastic…had she not been on the fourth floor. And had the outside not led to a graveyard. And had said graveyard not been overgrown with foliage that came straight from the bowls of the Underworld itself.

She whimpered at the memory of almost falling to her death. It had been, like, the second most terrifying experience in her life (she was going to have PTSD every time she opened a door after this)!

Oh! And let’s not forget the reason why she was running in the first place, because it was still persistently chasing her.

She wouldn’t be surprised if teleportation was another ability Emmanuel was capable of because no matter where she went, he was there popping up randomly and scaring the crap out of her. The only reason why he hadn’t caught her yet was due to quick thinking (a kick in the nuts here, an epic dodge there) and dumb luck.

All in all, these accursed halls were like a labyrinth of dark velvet, each one nearly identical to the other. It made it hard for her to keep track of where she was going and the constant threat of Emmanuel catching her didn’t help her nerves one bit.

There were times where she felt like giving up, but the instinctual need to survive kept her going. _‘I have to get out of here!’_ These words were like a mantra that kept her legs moving, her heart pumping, and her resolve strong. However, that was only going to last for so long and she knew she couldn’t keep it up for much longer. At the very least, she needed to rest or risk passing out from exhaustion (it was time like these were she cursed her lack of exercise).

Eventually the duplicity of the halls were interrupted by a spiraling staircase. She stopped, taking this time to catch her breath and observe the daunting steps before her. It, like the rest of the house, was gorgeously vintage with wrought iron metal and dark polished wood. Stairs. She _hated_ stairs. But she had no choice but to go up them or double back and risk getting caught by Emmanuel. She couldn’t here him behind her, but that didn’t mean he gave up. He could be here any second.

 _‘Fuck me, alright then. Legs don’t fail me now!’_ She smacked her thighs before rushing up two steps at a time. She could already feel her legs burn with the effort, but she managed to keep up her pace.

The steps seemed to go on and on, but she put any unnecessary thoughts out of her mind other than _“keep going”!_ She just had to keep it up and she’d be home free-

(F/n) tripped on a step and fell on her knees _hard_. She hardly registered the shock of pain, however, as dread and anger curdled in her gut, making her feel sick.

He was at the top of the stairs, leaning idly against the wall with his arms crossed.

“Took you long enough…” Emmanuel grumbled out with a displeased expression as she glared at him.

“M…M-Mother fucker…” She gritted out, curling her hands into fist. Of course he managed to beat her here and of course he had to be a douche about it!

“Did you forget that this is my fucking house?” He frowned, tapping his clawed fingers on his arm in irritation. “Naturally, I know the layout of it much better than you. It wouldn’t take a genius to know where you were heading. You’d think all the other times I cut you off would've been enough of a hint.”

(F/n) said nothing and shakily crawled back. This wasn’t good. She had to get away before he-!

“Ah, and would you look at that. Running away again I see.” He scoffed before casually grabbing onto a lever besides him. “Well, I’m sure your legs are tired from all that running you’ve done, so allow me to assist you.”

She watched as he pulled the lever, a loud mechanical sound rumbling against the walls. Bewildered, she tried to find out where the sound was coming from.

The source of it was revealed in the next few moments.

“Oh, you’ve gotta be kidding meeeeaaaggGGHHH!?!?!” She shrieked as her feet slipped from underneath her, hurtling her down the now transformed stairs. By pulling that lever, he had changed them into a god damn slide!

Emmanuel, the smug _bastard_ , laughed as he slid down as well but managed to stay on his feet. “You humans sure are clumsy! It’s an honest miracle that your species has managed to survive for so long!”

If she wasn’t afraid she’d hurl all over herself, she would’ve told him to choke on a clove of garlic. Her surroundings blurred with any chance of her grabbing onto something to slow her down proving futile.

“Who the hell built your house, Willy Wonka?!” She screeched, trying to avoid slamming into the walls. Seriously, why would they even have something like this in the first place?!

“That should be the least of your concerns _purcel_!” (F/n) flinched at how close he sounded and turned to see he was practically inches away from her! “Especially since this shitty game of cat and mouse is about to end!”

 _‘Crap!’_ Her panic was coming back with a vengeance as he reached out a hand. This was it, he was finally going to catch her!

.

.

.

Or at least, he almost did. However, it seemed lady luck had it out for the both of them tonight.

She didn’t know how it happened, but Emmanuel…tripped. Like, actually _tripped_ …over nothing but perhaps his ego. They both let out deadpan gasps at the sudden turn of events.

“Ah-“

“Ah-“

Emmanuel pitched forward and fell on his face with a loud “ _Guweh_?!”. He then proceeded to do an unsightly barrel roll, long limbs flailing around in his descent.

(F/n) gaped at him for a moment. And then she burst out laughing. The suddenness and ridiculous sight of him falling like that had sent her to infinity and beyond!

“H…H-Holy shit! That was-haha!-that was _terrible_! And you said that humans were clumsy~?! Hahaha!” Oh, she couldn’t remember laughing this hard in her life! Seriously, he was talking all that crap and then proceeds to trip? The comedic timing couldn’t have been better!

“S…S-Shut up!” He snapped, though the fact that he was still rolling dulled the threat significantly. “I swear when I get my hands on you!”

“You better get to your feet first jack ass!” She smirked at his indignant cursing, enjoying the ride down the stairs much more now that he was suffering along with her. It was actually kind of fun now that she had the chance to enjoy it without the threat of death over her shoulder. However, all good things must come to an end, and this was no exception.

They soon made it to the bottom of the stairs and began sliding along the floor. (F/n) was treated to another comedic sight as Emmanuel had slammed into a stand, the vase it was holding flying up and shattering over his head.

She left him and his curses behind as she slid down the hall at breakneck speed with no signs of slowing down (she distantly wondered what kind of polish they used to have the floors so slippery and frictionless). Her mirth turned to dread as she realized she was sliding towards a wall at the end of the hallway.

 _‘Welp, this is gonna hurt…’_ She braced herself for the impact, holding her hands above her head. The wall was coming closer and closer until-!

**_Clack-swish-Clack!_ **

“Omph!”

She could feel herself land on something surprisingly soft, with an explosion of what felt like feathers scattering around from the impact. A stale, yet sweet flowery smell hit her nose and she had to resist the urge to sneeze. The pitch-black darkness didn’t change when she opened her eyes and for a frightening moment, she thought she had gone blind.

 _‘Ugh…where the hell am I?’_ She sat up with a groan, trying to see if she could make out anything in the dark…wherever she was. _‘I was…just about to hit that wall when-‘_

_Thud! Thud! Thud!_

At the heavy footsteps, (F/n) slapped a hand to her mouth to muffle her frightened squeak. Trying to hear above the beating of her heart, she listened to Emmanuel seethe to himself, though it sounded muffled.

“God dam…ere did sh…have gotten far…” Was all that she could make out before he stormed away from her impromptu hiding spot. She didn’t dare let out a peep until she was sure he was long gone.

 _‘That was close…’_ She slumped in relief, lowering her hand. Thank god he didn’t notice where she was, even if she didn’t know herself.

Feeling it was safe enough to do so, she pulled out her phone and turned on the flashlight. Her surroundings were immediately illuminated, revealing that she was in some type of small crawl space/closet area. The soft thing she landed on was what looked to be a dozen of feather stuffed pillows, a handmade quilt, and stuffed animals.

She shivered a little when she noticed the plush toys were _headless_ and had more stitches on them than Frankenstein. _‘Great, I escape one nightmare just to fall into another…’_

She moved the flashlight around, taking in the black and purple theme of the closet, and noticed a piece of paper that was tapped to one of the walls.

_‘Maricara’s hideout #17! Trespasser’s will be skinned, flayed, beheaded, and executed in that order~!💜.’_

If the startling contrast between those disturbing words and the cute stickers and drawings that surrounded it wasn’t alarming enough, the fact that it was clearly written in a child’s handwriting only seemed to make it worse.

 _‘This house is full of maniacs…’_ She sweat dropped before perking up in realization. _‘Wait a minute, now’s the perfect time to call the cops!’_

Fumbling to unlock her phone, (F/n)’s hopes for help were cruelly dashed when she saw that she had no signal. Along with that, her phone was roaming with the time showing 00:00.

 _‘What the hell?’_ She furrowed her brow at the strange sight and little red ‘X’ that seemed to mock her. She tried calling anyway, as if hoping she’d get through regardless, but the automatic drone of the “out of service” woman was the only one who answered.

 _‘What the hell?!’_ She grit her teeth, feeling her eyes sting with tears once more. In her frustration, she clicked her teeth and threw her phone on a nearby pillow.

 _‘What the hell…’_ She curled up by the wall, laying her head in her arms. She could feel her body shake with exhaustion and pent up emotion and all she wanted to do was cry herself to sleep. Perhaps if she did, she would wake up from this nightmare. Instead of this creepy closet, she’d be home in her crappy bed, waking up in order to get ready for another shift at her strange job. She’d help Mrs. Grimassi with tending to her spice garden while listening to her outrageous stories. She would try to guess what Mr. Grimassi was thinking as she thanked him for the little sweets he’d give her at the end of every shift. She'd pet Mattone and feed him anchovies after he gave her dead rats as presents.

Instead of scared and by herself, she’d be with them…safe and sound…

(F/n) snorted, curling into a tighter ball. She couldn’t believe she was still thinking of them positively after all this. They were the ones that got her in this mess in the first place…and yet she still wanted their comfort. How pathetic…

_'What the hell am I going to do...?'_

* * *

(F/n) didn’t know how long she sat there, wallowing in self-pity. It could’ve been a few minutes, hours, or maybe even the whole night. However, by the time her mini breakdown was over, she felt like she woke up from a very long nap…

She raised her head with a tired sigh, looking towards her discarded phone. It would be better to turn off the flashlight in order to not waste the battery. She’d prefer to be in the dark then look at these creepy stuffed animals anyway.

She reached over for the phone and felt a shifting weight around her shoulders. She looked down to see that it was the satchel that Mrs. Grimassi had given her.

“Oh yeah, I forgot I brought this with me…” She mumbled, thinking back to what her boss had said about the bag.

_-“This my dear is just a little…insurance.” Mrs. Grimassi held the bag over to her. “I’m positive you won’t have to use it, but it’s always better to be safe than sorry~!”_

_“O…kay?” (F/n) looked towards the bag in a new, wary light. Mrs. Grimassi had never given her anything like it before on her other deliveries, and a part of her wondered why her boss felt it was needed now. “What’s in it?”_

_“Ah, well…that’s a secret~♪” She chimed, holding a finger to her lips with a wink. “And because it’s a secret, I want you to promise me that you won’t open this bag unless it’s an emergency, okay~?”-_

An Emergency huh? Well, if this wasn't an emergency, she didn't know what was. She had no idea how whatever was in the bag was going to help her, but anything was better than nothing at this point.

(F/n) took off the bag and carefully opened it. The metallic mothball smell grew stronger, piercing through the stale flowery one that permeated the room. It did _not_ make for a pleasant scent.

Wrinkling her nose, she reached into the bag and felt something smooth and hard. Surprised, she pulled it out to see that it was…an iPad?

She blinked at the device. Of all the things she was expecting to be in there, an iPad wasn’t one of them. She reached into the bag again to see if she could find something else, but came up empty handed.

“Is this…seriously all that’s in there?” She furrowed her brow in confusion and irritation. The bag felt way too heavy to just have an iPad. Also, how was this going to help her in an emergency? It would’ve been good if she was bored or something, not when her life was in danger!

She turned on the iPad and unlocked it. Oh hell, there was hardly even any apps on here! Aside from the default ones, there was only one unique looking one. It was purple with a strange, black occult looking symbol. Under the app was the name “HMAH”. What the hell did that even mean?

(F/n) pursed her lips at the odd app. She had never seen it before and it looked pretty sketchy. But she knew the other ones would be of no help unless she had internet. Knowing that asking Emmanuel for the Wifi password was a horrible idea, she felt that that she had nothing to lose in clicking on it. So she did.

The app opened to show the purple and black logo with a loading bar at the bottom. She could hear what faintly sounded like a phone dial come from the speakers as the words _“connecting you to a familiar”_ showed up below it. Was this thing…calling someone?

When the loading bar was filled, the screen switched to black, and then to a face call.

What greeted her was a cat…like, an actual cat. But, not like a real cat. The only way she could describe it was like an anthropomorphic cartoon version of a European shorthair. It was tiny, like a kitten, with soft looking grey fur with black stripes and piercing emerald green eyes. It was also dressed up like a witch, sporting a purple dress with a white puritan collar, a purple pointed hat with holes to allow its ears to pop out, and a black collar with a bell.

The…cat smiled up at her, revealing it’s pointed teeth. “ _Miao_! This is Grimalkin from the HMAH! What’s your emergency ma’am~?” ” It greeted, lifting a cartoony gloved hand with an eager wave.

Oh, so it could talk too. Nifty...

(F/n) didn’t know what she expected when she clicked on the app, but it certainly wasn’t this.

* * *

_**Man, it's just one thing after another for the poor reader. Will she ever catch a break? Probably not~** _

_**Thanks for reading~** _


	5. Escape From the Vampire!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (F/n) is tired of the mothertrucking vampires in this mothertrucking house! Looks like it's finally time to get out~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyo! There's a lot of action this chapter, plus a little surprise down the line. Trust me, you'll know it when you see it! For now though, please enjoy~

_**Chapter 5: Escape From the Vampire!** _

* * *

Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back. However, (F/n) was not a cat, nor was she satisfied. She felt pretty dead though, so at least that part held some truth to it. Above all else, though, she was just plain confused. She could practically feel her brain numb itself in order to cope with the irregularity staring up at her from the iPad. First vampires and now this. What’s next, a unicorn?!

“Well if you want me to make a guess ma’am, I’d say a garden gnome infestation!” The cat piped up happily, reminding (F/n) that she really needed to fix that habit of absently speaking her thoughts. It got her into more trouble than it was worth.

“Okay, might as well address the elephant in the room.” Or cat in the iPad, if you wanted to be literal. Squinting, she held the device up to her face in order to get a better look. “What…are you, exactly? Are you some kind of app like that talking Tom one? Is this conversation being recorded right now? If so, will my FBI agent get off their ass and help me out?”

“I, unfortunately, do not know what a talking Tom is! However, I _can_ tell you what I am!” The cat cheerfully replied before saluting. “I am Grimalkin, a familiar that works at the HMAH! ! It’s nice to _meowt_ you ma’am~!”

Ignoring the pun (for she didn’t want to waste the precious brain power to groan at it), (F/n) tilted her head curiously. “A familiar? You mean like…for witches and stuff?”

“That’s right ma’am, and a free-lance one at that! However, I believe there are more pressing issues than my employment status at the moment, seeing as you have contacted us!”

“Uh, yeah you’re right…” She blinked, remembering why she had opened the app in the first place. She was just so distracted by the cute talking cat that she forgot a vampire was trying to kill her. “Though before that, I do want to ask what you mean by “us”. You mentioned you worked at something called the HMAH? What exactly is that?”

“The HMAH, officially known as the _Hostile Magical Anomalies Helpline,_ is an organization tasked with helping others through unordinary emergencies dealing with the supernatural.” Grimalkin answered promptly. “You could say we are like the operators of human police forces! This also means that since you’ve called for our assistance, then you are in a very bad situation! How unfortunate for you~!”

 _‘Well, you don’t have to sound so happy about it…’_ (F/n) pouted but couldn’t disagree with her (it?).

“Now ma’am, would you mind telling me your emergency?” Grimalkin asked and (F/n) paused, trying to find a way to explain her situation without sounding crazy or high (never mind the fact that she was telling this to a talking cat in the first place).

“Um, well I’m kinda being chased by a vampire who’s trying to suck my blood?”

Grimalkin’s ears perked up in surprised at this. “A vampire trying to suck your blood?” The concept, oddly enough, sounded novel to her.

“Yeah... He’s been chasing me for a couple of hours now and I’m currently hiding from him in some weird crawlspace.”

“I see…do you mind telling me how he was acting ma’am? Did you notice anything strange or unusual?”

“Er…” (F/n) paused again, thinking back to how Emmanuel was behaving. There were a lot of things strange, unusual, _and_ irritating about him, but which one mattered in her situation?”

"Did he show any erratic behavior or memory issues?” Grimalkin helpfully piped up, receiving a quick nod.

“Yeah, he did. Like, one moment he was grouchy and moody, the next he got really creepy and touchy. He also claimed that he didn’t remember attacking me in the first place. At first I thought he was lying, by he seemed just as confused as I was…”

“And had he attacked you immediately?”

“No, only after he saw the blood on my hands after I fell and scrapped them.”

“I see…” Grimalkin nodded thoughtfully and began typing at her keyboard (how she managed to do so with those cartoon gloves, she had no idea), as if taking notes. She continued to ask (F/n) various questions, such as Emmanuel’s appearance, manner of speech, and other actions she had noticed. The whole thing only took a few minutes with Grimalkin’ ending it by giving her a bright smile.

“Well ma’am, I believe I’ve figured out the circumstances of your emergency!” She chirped, causing (F/n) to blink in surprise. Well that was certainly fast.

“Really?”

“Yeppers!” Her whiskers twitched as she nodded. “What you’ve described sounds similar to what is referred to as a vampire’s _“Blood Lust Frenzy”_ or just a _“Frenzy”_ for short. While quite rare this day and age, it usually occurs when a vampire has not feed for some time. Similar to how humans need the nutrients of food and water to survive, vampires need to ingest blood for similar reasons. If they don’t have it, then they’ll starve and go mad with hunger. Their instincts will propel them into survival mode in order to find the nearest source of food in search of nutrition. And unfortunately, that nearest source is you~!”

 _‘Great. So I’m gonna become a snack for real.’_ She frowned. _Lovely_ … “So he went crazy cause he hasn’t, like, drunk blood in a while? Is it because he hasn’t found someone to attack like me?”

“Oh no, most likely not. Vampires these days usually get blood through donations as it’s much easier and cruelty free! And even if he couldn’t get any blood from a human, an animal would’ve done just fine. There’s even a few vegan options out there!” Grimalkin tilted her head thoughtfully. “As far as my knowledge goes, there hasn’t been a frenzy attack since the 40s.”

There was a lot about that explanation that made her head hurt. Just the fact that there were such a thing as vegan vampires was crazy enough! “B...B-But that doesn’t explain why he attacked me!"

“Yes, that is strange.” Grimalkin frowned, looking pensive. “Though I said that there hasn’t been a frenzy-based attack in a while, that isn’t to say that there haven’t been vampires out there sadistic enough to get blood the old fashion way, even if it’s outlawed. For one to attack a human despite the grave repercussions is very odd indeed, which leads me to believe it’s a frenzy attack!”

“Well regardless if he’s doing it because he’s hungry or crazy, I’m still in danger.” (F/n) slumped against the wall with a miserable sigh. “While he may be a jerk, he’s a powerful jerk and I can't fight him off on my own. Can’t you just contact you guy’s form of the police or something?”

“Er, well…I, unfortunately, can’t do that ma’am!” She bowed regretfully. “You see, the area you’re in appears to be located in “Amityville Street” which is something of a…private community. Only the citizens can request the help of the local law enforcement.”

“Are you freakin’ kidding me? What kind of sense does that make?!” She slumped even lower, the beginnings of a panic attack fizzing in her chest. The one time she relies on law enforcement, and they can’t help her? Typical!

“Um, a...a-all is not lost ma’am! There are quite a few ways to get you out of this situation without the need for the police. You may even be able to subdue the vampire!” She placed a paw to her chest, puffing it out proudly. “I, Girmalkin, will also help you through this!”

“Y…Y-You will?” (F/n) gave her a dubious frown. It wasn’t that she wasn't grateful for the help, but she didn’t know what this cat demon…thing could do.

“That’s right! First thing first, please look into that bag and pull out the item in there~!”

She blinked before looking down at the satchel by her side. But there wasn’t anything in there! All that she found was the iPad that was currently in her hand.

Still feeling uncertain, she reached in the bag and felt around. Soon enough, her fingers brushed past something small and smooth.

“The hell?” Blinking in surprise, she pulled it out to see that it was a _smart watch_ of all things. “Was…this in here the whole time? How did I miss it?”

Grimalkin giggled before motioning to her wrist. “Now then ma’am, please put the watch on.”

(F/n) did as she told and strapped it around her non dominant hand. As soon as she did so, the same strange symbol from the HMAH app appeared on the small screen along with a loading bar that said “Connecting…”. When the bar was filled, the iPad turned off and a strange light flashed on the watch.

She watched in a mixture of shock and fascination as the small holographic form of Grimalkin was floating above her wrist. “…Holy shitterdoodles…”

“Indeed!” The cat giggled, twirling around. “Both the iPad and the watch have this feature, but I felt it would be more convenient to use the latter as it’s easier to travel around with.”

How much of this was either magic or just advance technology? The supernatural were holding out on them big time! She could only imagine what kind of amazing stuff they had.

“Now ma’am, I should also say that your bag is connected to the watch and iPad as well!”

“What? This old dingy thing?” She looked down at the satchel, now 90% sure that it was the cousin of the Sorting Hat.

“That bag is enchanted to hold a large quantity of items, as long as they’re small enough to fit in there.” Grimalkin explained, sounding a lot like a tutorial NPC. “There are a few items in there already, and from what I can see they will prove useful in defending yourself against this rouge vampire!”

“Is there like, a way to see them or something?”

“Why of course!”

(F/n) flinched a little when Grimalkin disappeared, only to be replaced with what looked like a menu box. At the top of it were the words **[Inventory]** along with a list of stuff.

* * *

> > **[Inventory]**
>
>> **[Bag of Rice]: _A cups worth of rice in a bag (even if she could cook it, she didn’t have much of an appetite)._**
>
>> **[Two (2) sticks made of ash wood ]: _They’re not stakes, but they may still be useful._**
>
>> **[Packs of blood]: _Incudes types A, B, AB, and O. Quite the variety…_**
>
>> **[Cloves of garlic]: _Even for a human, this stuff irritates the senses._**
>
>> **[Gemstone]: _It’s the one (F/n) chose during her interview (she doesn’t know why it’s here, but feels it’d be better to keep it safe…)_**
>
>> **[iPad/Watch]: _Houses the HMAH app and connects (F/n) to Grimalkin._**

> * * *

_‘Wow, this is starting to feel more and more like a video game!’_ She marveled as the list was replaced with Grimalkin’s smiling face.

“Using these items, your wits, and my insight- we should have you out of this place in no time!”

As (F/n) thought about those words, another feeling began to grow along sides her anxiety. It was the faint blossom of hope. For the first time this night, she began to feel good about her chances of surviving. While it wasn’t the most ideal situation, she wasn’t completely helpless! If she played her cards right, she may be able to get out of this place alive.

(F/n) was startled out of her thoughts as a loud _B O O M!_ seemed to shake the whole house. She looked around, half-afraid that the old place was coming down. “W…W-What the hell was that?!

“Hmm, looks like things are getting crazy out there.” Grimalkin looked up in intrigue. “It would be best to escape now before things escalate anymore.”

(F/n) absently nodded along with her. Whatever caused that explosion was most likely not good for her. She couldn’t stall any longer. She needed to get out of here as soon as possible.

She took in a deep breath, trying to steel her nerves. When she opened her eyes, they blazed with determination. It was now or never!

“Okay then, let’s get going!”

* * *

**《⚠️ HOLD IT! ⚠️》**

**Hello dear Reader! lovely to see you again so soon~**

**I am coming to you live from this fourth wall break to introduce a function to this story that I thought would be fun and interesting to do! I dub this function as~**

***drum rolls***

_**THE [GAME MODE]!** _

**Now you’re probably thinking “what the hell is this girl on about”? To start with, let me explain the [Game Mode] in more depth!**

**To put it simply, [Game Mode] is CYOA styled quiz where you’ll be given various choices to determine a specific action. Your choices do matter and will determine if you’ll get a game over or not! If you do get one, then you’ll start over from the previous question (I’m not sadistic enough to have you start over from the beginning *cough*oramI*cough*).**

_***Also, I want to warn that some of the endings will be on the gory side and will feature depictions of death. It's nothing intense, but if you don't do well with that then you might want to avoid playing the [Game mode]!*** _

**If you don’t feel like playing the [Game Mode], then that’s fine! You can continue on reading where the events of the [Game Mode] will take place in the usual novel format.**

**It’s all pretty straight forward right~? I’ve never done a format like this before, so I’d love to hear you guy’s thoughts about the whole [Game Mode] function. Other than that, I hope you guys can enjoy the rest of this chapter!**

**[Game Mode:[START](https://www.quotev.com/story/13144021/Escape-From-the-Vampire/1)[!](https://www.quotev.com/story/13144021/Escape-From-the-Vampire)]**

**[Novel Mode: CONTINUE]**

* * *

(F/n) crawled out of her little hiding spot, looking around the corridor. Whew, no vampires in sight. Emmanuel must’ve stormed off somewhere.

“Okay, so how do we get out of here?” She whispered, tiptoeing down the hall. It was eerily quiet right now, to the point where even her whispering sounded like a shout.

“I have pulled up a map of the premises.” Grimalkin staged whispered, doing so more out of fun than caution. “It's not super in depth or advance, but it should be accurate! Right now, you’re on the fifth floor of the house. If you were to take the next door on the right, it should take you down to the fourth floor!”

“Bitchin’!” (F/n) rushed over to the door, excited that she was finally going to make some progress in getting out of here and oh look Emmanuel was standing on the other side of the door... _wait a minute._

He was holding another wine glass filled with what was probably blood and looked to be in the middle of taking a sip. They both froze, eyes widening at their surprise meeting. They stared at each other for a few moments before (F/n) slammed the door in his face. His curse of pain echoed from behind her as she made a mad dash away.

“I thought you said right?!” She screamed as the cat smiled up at her.

“I meant my right ma’am! Sorry for the confusion~!”

“ _Your_ right?! Oh you’ve gotta be-“

“Kidding me?!” Emmanuel snarled, voice booming like thunder. “Are you fucking kidding me?! This is the second drink that you’ve made me drop you insufferable sow!”

“Would you believe me if I said it was an accident?!” She called back, trying to honey her voice.

“No!”

“Well, would you forgive me if I said it was an accident?!”

“Hell no!”

“Then it’s time to cut this convo short.” She muttered before consulting with Grimalkin. “So where’s our next stop?”

“Right down this hall ma’am! Once you go down there, take two lefts and you’ll arrive in a T-sectioned hall!”

(F/n) followed her directions and soon came across the mentioned hall. However, when she arrived, she was treated to a chaotic sight.

Dozens of bats were flying around both halls, squealing at a ear shattering decibel that could only be produced by children. The halls were also a mess, with broken furniture strewn about and flickering light fixtures. There even seemed to be a busted pipe, if the flooded state of the left hall had anything to attest to it.

“What the hell happened here?” She muttered, looking a little ill at the sight of all these bats.

“I believe this is the source of that explosion from earlier ma’am!”

“I think you’re right…” She wondered if these were the same bats that had attacked her at the entrance of the house. Emmanuel had said there were none, but she’s long gone past the realm of believing anything that jerk says. Speaking of which.

“Gah, I knew I shouldn’t have woken up today! I can’t believe I have to go through this monkey ball _bullshit_! I don’t even like pizza and WHAT IN THE SEVEN HELLS HAPPENED TO THE HALLWAY?!”

Looking close to having an aneurism, Emmanuel stormed into the hall and began to shout at the bats, looking very much like a crotchety old man scolding a bunch of punk kids. “You little shit! I told you not to cause a ruckus! Look what you did to the baroque sofa! The chandelier! Shit, even the wallpaper?! This was the vintage green kind with actual arsenic in it!”

The bats just ignored him, looking too hyped up on sguar to pay him any mind. All they did was just fly about, playing random games or just rough housing with each other. Thankfully, Emmanuel seemed so focused on them that he didn’t notice (F/n). Good, maybe they could keep him busy for the rest of the night.

“And **_you_**!”

Or not.

“I’m getting really sick and tired of chasing you around everywhere!” He snapped, looking more beast than man in his anger. Uh oh, time to skedaddle!

“Oh trust me, the feeling’s mutual!" She snapped out before bolting down the left hall. She made sure to avoid the bats as much as possible. With her luck, they might want to start snacking on her as well.

She made it the flooded part of the hall, her shoes sloshing through the soaked carpet. She wasn’t an expert in antiques or anything, but even she cringed at all the inevitable water damage done to them. She was sure it would cost a heart staggering fortune to replace them. However, that feeling was soon replaced with panic as Emmanuel snarled out from behind her.

“Stop right there dammit!” (F/n) made the horrible mistake of turning around, and she was awarded with the sight of Emmanuel leaping at her like a feral rabbit on steroids. The distance between them closed so fast that she didn’t even have time to scream. She was sure that the last thing she’d ever see was the triumphant crimson in his predatory eyes.

She was, however, pleasantly mistaken.

BAM!

You know how when people push their face against some glass and they look all smushed up? Well, that was exactly how Emmanuel looked at the moment. He was frozen in midair, as if he had hit some kind of invisible wall. (F/n) wondered if this was how goldfish felt when kids pressed their faces against the aquariums.

Silence filled the air before it was broken by the squeaky sound of him sliding down and falling to the floor. If (F/n) wasn’t so shocked at the moment, she would’ve busted out laughing.

“W…W-What the hell?!” Emmanuel sat up, stunned, before trying to grab her. However, he was stopped once again by the…wall she supposed. He banged his fist against it, actually making a thumping sound.

“Wow, I didn’t know vampires could be mimes too…” She couldn’t help but snark, much to his irritation.

“What the hell is going on?! What _is_ this?!” He scratched his nails across the invisible force with great annoyance.

“It’s running water sir!” Grimalkin, ever the helper, happily answered and he looked down at her as if he was seeing an alien.

“What the hell is that?”

“None of your business.” (F/n) frowned, cuddling her watch towards her chest like a kid to their teddy bear. She didn’t like the thought of this guy glaring at her new little buddy. Speaking of which... “When you say running water, do you mean that weird superstition of vampires not being able to cross water?”

“That is correct ma’am! Vampires are unable to cross a body of water, be it from a river or even a broken pipe!”

(F/n) looked down to see that the wall seem to stand exactly where the water on the floor started. She also noticed how there were no bats over the area of the water, as if they couldn't get near it…

“Oh, this is bullshit!” Emmanuel growled, slamming his fist against the barrier. “Who the hell made up a rule like that?!”

“Well whoever it is, I give then my sincerest thanks.” (F/n) smirked and continued on her escape, ignoring his threats for her to come back. While he may not be able to get her in this hall, that didn’t mean he couldn’t find another way to attack. She needed to put as much distance between them as possible. “Where next Grimalkin-“

“Sorry to interrupt you ma’am, but it seems there’s an incoming call for you!”

She nearly tripped over her feet at the unexpected news. “W…W-What? An incoming _call_? From who?!” She was sure this place didn’t have service! And besides that, how the hell did Grimalkin know that? Did she somehow also connect to her phone?

“It is from someone named _“Basic Binch”_!”

“That’s Angie!” (F/n) gasped out in surprise and mild annoyance. “Why the hell is she calling me now of all times?”

“Would you like me to accept the call ma’am?”

“Nah, I’m good. I rather the last thing I might hear on this Earth not be her screeching at me.”

“Unfortunately, ma’am, the call has been accepted!”

“What? Then why did you even ask?!”

“Company policy~!”

“That doesn’t even make sense-“

 _“Hoe, where the hell are you?!”_ Angie’s irate voice blared from the watch, the image of Grimalkin being replaced with her contact picture (a rarely unflattering one which showed off a half asleep double chin that she took in secret).

“And a hello to you too.”

_“Oh, so you’re gonna sass me huh? Even though I’m calling to check on your wellbeing?”_

“Well, I would feel more appreciative if you didn’t wait to do so until 4 am. I could’ve been murdered hours ago!”

 _“But you weren’t so it’s no biggie right?”_ Angie replied and she could just imagine her looking at her nails in a blasé manner. _“Anyway, you didn’t answer my question. You’ve been gone for hours and I said you could only use my car during your shift! You aren’t taking it on a joy ride with some of your freaky friends are you?”_

“Bold of you to assume I even have friends.” (F/n) panted, finding the act of running and talking to be very energy consuming. “Anyway, I’m kinda in the middle of something right now so I’m going to hang up.”

 _“Ha? What’s got you so busy?”_ She asked, clearly suspicious. _“You late for a delivery or something cause you sound like a 90-year-old goose with lung cancer. I told you to lay off of drinking condense milk straight from the can!”_

“What, do you want me to drink water like some kind of _primitive_?”

_“Those "primitives" probably had a better diet than you.”_

“Yeah, you're probably righ-“

**_“Gotcha’ bitch!”_ **

“Holy-?!”

(F/n) was sure that the dodge she did looked cool to the outside observer, probably paired with slow motion and a orchestral bgm by Hans Zimmer. Emmanuel had missed her by a hair, his black nails leaving a thin scratch on her cheek. She ground to a halt, heart nearly leaping out of her chest.

“You really need to quit it with these jump scares man!” She snapped, trying to ignore the fear brought on by the sting of her cut. That was _way_ too close.

“I’ll quit when I drain every last drop of blood in your body!” He snarled, eyes narrowing into venomous slits.

 _“Whoa, what just happened?”_ Angie asked, sounding just as surprised. _“Who was that? He sounds hot. Is he hot?”_

“ _That’s_ the part you’re focusing on?!”

_“Well it is a valid question.”_

“You know what, this conversation is now over. I’ll see you in a few hours. Or not. We’ll see.” (F/n) quickly ended the call, not needing anymore distractions. They were in another one of these blasted hallways with no doors, windows, or running water to aid in her escape. She was trapped.

“Alright Grimalkin, if you have any ideas I’m all for it!”

“Oh! Oh! I actually do have one!” She waved her hand eagerly before pointing at her satchel. “Please reach into your bag and pull out the item in there!”

“I swear, if it’s another iPad…” She felt doubtful but followed her orders regardless. Soon enough, she pulled out-

“The rice?!”

“That’s right ma’am!”

(F/n) felt her eye twitch violently. Of all the things she could’ve pulled out. “…How the _hell_ is this supposed to help me?!”

“I don’t know, but I give my sincerest thanks to whoever felt like you needed a snack rather than a weapon.” Emmanuel smirked before sauntering towards her. She tensed and backed up, holding the bag of rice as if she were going to throw it at him. He scoffed at the slight.

“Oh please, you must be more stupid than you look. Do you really think some rice will stop me from tearing your throat out? What, are you going to throw it at my head or something?”

“Hey, don’t underestimate me! My 5th grade P.E. teacher said I had a good arm.” She sounded more confident than she felt. What she wanted was the wooden sticks or the garlic, not this! Oh what was she going to do?!”

“Throw it ma’am!” Grimalkin piped up, and (F/n) looked at her like she lost her mind.

“Don’t tell me that was actually your plan?! While I may have a good arm, I also have shitty aim! I can barely hit a fence let alone a dude with supernatural powers.”

“No ma’am, not at him, at the _floor_!” She huffed as she pointed at the ground. “Make sure to dump the rice all over the floor before he reaches you! Quickly!”

(F/n) wanted to argue about how that would possibly help, but seeing as Emmanuel would be on her in a few moments, she didn’t really have a choice. She spread the rice all over the floor, making sure to empty out every last grain.

“Oh, so you’re going to liter in my home as well?” He frowned before quickening his pace. “Thanks for giving me more reasons to-“

(F/n), who was worried that whatever the rice was supposed to do didn’t work, blinked in confusion when she saw the vampire stop. He was intently looking down at the rice, as if it had his full attention. It was awkwardly silent for a few moments before he blinked, seeming to come back to himself. He frowned once more before taking another threatening step.

“Er, where was I? Oh yes, thanks for giving me more reasons to…more reasons…”

He stopped again, looking back at the rice as if something about it was…bothering him.

“You…you good man?” She couldn’t help but ask and he scoffed before crossing his arms.

“Tch, am I good? Of course I’m good! I’m just…irritated at the fact that you spilled all this rice on my floor." He tapped his foot in irritation. :These annoying little grains of rice, all over the goddamn floor…There’s just so much of it! How many do you think was in that bag? One hundred? Two hundred?”

“Um…I dunno, maybe?” She gave him a bewildered look. He was acting weird, but not the “licking people’s hands” kinda weird. He seemed agitated, like there was an itch he was trying to resist scratching. She heard him mumble under his breath.

“-wenty-one, twenty-two, twenty-three- no, wait I already counted that one. Twenty-four-“

Was he…was he counting the rice? What the hell?

Perhaps seeing the disbelief on her face, Emmanuel stopped, flushing up to his pointed ears. “W…W-What are you gaping at me like an idiot for? Stop that!”

“I wasn’t trying to do it on purpose, but you have to admit it’s kinda strange to watch someone who was trying to kill you suddenly start to count rice on the floor instead.” A small part of her underneath the pure relief at that fact was a little annoyed. She knew she wasn’t the most entertaining person in the world, but was a bunch of grain really more interesting than her? As if her self-esteem wasn’t low enough.

“I’m not doing it on purpose dammit! It’s just that…It’s…ugh, doesn’t it just irritate you?!” He glared down at the rice as if it somehow insulted him. “Just how many grains of rice is that? Gah, I just have to know or I’ll go insane!”

Emmanuel crouched down and began to count out the rice, whispering furiously to himself. (F/n) had literally no idea what was going on, but decided that now would be the perfect time to escape while he was distracted. Making sure to tip toe as silently as possible, she rounded the corner before making a run for it.

“Holy shit I can’t believe that worked!” She muttered as Grimalkin nodded, looking pleased with herself.

“To be honest, neither do I! It appears that the myth of vampires having Arithmomania turned out to be true! Fascinating, I must be sure to write this down for future reference.”

“You can do that after you’ve gotten me out of here! That rice is only going to distract him for so long.”

“Yes ma’am! There should be a staircase that you should take down to the third floor!”

(F/n) continued to follow the familiar’s direction, once again grateful for her help. The halls were just as confusing as before and had she been alone, she was sure she would’ve been running around in circles. Unfortunately, their escape didn’t get any easier as they soon came across another hallway, though this one ended in a dead end!

“Shit!” She cried, looking around in a wild panic. “What do I do now?

“I believe you have to go through one of these doors.”

“Well yeah, but which one?!”

“That, I’m not entirely sure.” Grimalkin fiddled with her paws apologetically. “The map says there’s an entrance to the next floor around this general area, but it doesn’t specify which door it leads to it!”

 _‘Great…’_ She frowned, noting that none of the doors looked too inviting. There were four of them, each with an ominous symbol on the front. One had a skull and cross bones, another had the number 13, then there was a question mark, and the last had a bloody handprint. _‘What kind of Resident Evil mess is this?’_

(F/n) chewed on the bottom of her lip. She had a 1 in 4 chance of choosing the right door, but knowing how wacky and dangerous this house was, she didn’t want to risk the 3 in 4 chance of getting it wrong. She shivered a little when she thought back to the door on the fourth floor that she almost fell to her death out of. Yeah, it would probably be better not to open them all willy nilly.

“Ugh, I rather not take the chance. Hey Grimalkin, is there another exit somewhere on this floor?”

“There are a few, but it will take at least five minutes to get to the nearest one!”

“I’ll risk it.” She sighed before turning around. “Please tell me where it is- _omph_!”

Bewildered, she looked to see what the hell she had walked into and nearly broke her nose on. Perhaps it also gave her a concussion too, because the hallway behind her had disappeared, _another door_ in it's place!

“What the hell?! W…W-Where did this come from?” She observed the intricate looking rose design on the front. Even Grimalkin seemed to be at a loss for words.

“...I…don’t know ma’am. It wasn’t there a second ago! Though, that’s odd…”

“Oh, what now?”

“Well, the map now says that _this_ door is the one that leads to the next floor, not the others!" She exclaimed in awe. "And not only that, but it may lead you to the first floor as well!”

“Woah, _what_?!" (F/n) gaped down at her, unable to believe her ears. "Are you serious?!”

“Yes ma’am! While I am unsure of what the room exactly contains, I do know that it leads to the first floor. If you were to take this route, we’ll be able to get you out of here in the next 10-20 minutes!”

Well _that_ was certainly good news! This was better than anything she could’ve hoped for! While the door was even more suspicious than the four behind her, if it really did lead to the first floor than that was a risk she was willing to take!

“Well what are we waiting for? Let’s hot foot it Grimmy!” At the familiar’s affirmative cheer, she wasted no time in opening the door and rushing in.

A familiar, stale flowery smell hit her nose as soon as she entered the room. She looked around, noting that everything was decked out in a gothic Lolita theme with pale and dark pinks and reds along with the ever present black. From the first glance, she could tell that it belonged to a little girl. Or, more accurately, the little girl that sat in the middle of the room.

She was a petite little thing, with pale brown skin and curly black hair done up in bubble pigtails. Her doll like brown eyes were trained on her impassively, holding an aged look to them that clashed with her youthful appearance. She could also see the small fangs that peaked out of her mouth a little. _Shit_.

“Oh God no. No more vampires _please_.” (F/n) groaned, slumping against the door in despair. “What did I do to deserve this?!”

“Oh, hello there (L/n). I’m the owner of the room you just barged into without permission and whose tea party you just interrupted.” The girl spoke with a noticeable lisp that did nothing to lessen her passive aggressive tone. She slowly put her teacup on the little table she was sitting at and gave her a slight nod. “Sorry for the inconvenience.”

 _‘Why is everyone in this house so sassy?’_ She frowned before she realized something. “Wait a minute…how do you know my name?”

“Well, besides the fact that it says it on your name tag, I heard you mention it before.”

(F/n) frowned and placed a hand against said name tag. “What the heck are you talking about? I’m pretty sure this is the first time we met.”

“True, but it’s not the first time that I’ve seen you.” She calmly nodded to something to the left and when (F/n) turned to see what it was, her jaw nearly dropped in shock.

What looked to be a baker’s dozen of ornate, vintage mirrors were hovering in the air. Instead of them reflecting the room, they instead showed different areas of the house. She saw the flooded hallway, the stairs she and Emmanuel had slid down, and even the little crawlspace she hid in.

“I’ve been watching you since you first showed up with the pizzas which was quite delicious by the way.” The girl said before picking up her teacup. “I must say, it was uber wicked to see you to take my brother out of his watermelons like that. I haven’t seen him this pissed off since someone broke his DIO figurine. I wonder who it was…”

There was...so much wrong with that whole statement that her cerebral fluid seemed to curdle in the effort to un pack it. One part of it, though, took precedence over the bulk of the absurdity.

“Emmanuel’s your brother…?” She asked, tensing up a little. If she was his sister, then what was to stop her from helping him out on his hunt?

Perhaps seeing her anxiety, the girl waved dismissively. “I’m not going to snitch on you to him if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“Well…how do I know I can believe you?”

“Hmm…well, you can’t, but if I were to sell you out then it would ruin all the fun.” She took a sip from her cup. “Besides, I need a few more fails from him for the TikTok that I’m making.”

 _‘TikTok??? This whole family is a boomer zoomer paradox!’_ (F/n) sighed and ran a hand through her hair. “You’re a...strange kid, but thanks for the help.”

“I’m actually 50 and a half, and you’re welcome.” She turned to look at the mirrors and raised a curious brow. “Also, it looks like Emmanuel’s down the hall.”

“He’s _wHAT_?!” (F/n) cried, looking to see that he was, indeed, stalking down the hall like a feral blood hound. “Geez, this dude just won’t give up! What am I gonna do?!”

“Try hiding in there.” The girl pointed towards a seven-foot pile of stuffed animals that looked like they came straight from a petting zoo in hell. “He won’t notice your smell due to the potpourri.”

“So that’s what that smell is.” She muttered before giving her a grateful nod. “Thanks a bunch!”

The vampire silently returned the nod and (F/n) wasted no time in dashing towards the stuffed animal pile. She dove into it, making sure no part of her body could be seen. Not a moment later, she could hear the door slam open with enough force to crack a wall.

“WHERE’S THE _PURCEL_?!” She flinched at Emmanuel’s snarl. He was angry before, but now he sounded downright murderous. It seemed their little game of tag had driven him to the end of his frayed rope.

His sister, however, didn’t seemed cowed at his rage and just stoically regarded him. “Hello Emmanuel, glad to see that you’re finally awake. You must still be half asleep, otherwise you wouldn’t have dared to come barging into my room without knocking like that.”

(F/n) could practically hear him roll his eyes. “Whatever Maricara, I’ll repent later. Right now, I have to find-”

“The _Purcel_ , right?” The now named Maricara (she thought back to the disturbing sign at the crawlspace that said it belonged to her. Well that made a lot of sense) interrupted him . “I’m sure we don’t have any piglets in the house though. Unless a bunch of them managed to sneak in and run rampant without my notice.”

 _‘So that’s what 'Purcel' means! Oh, that motherfucker!’_ (F/n) inwardly growled while Emmanuel gave an irritated sigh.

“No, I don’t mean an actual piglet. I’m looking for a human woman. She’s been running around, making a muck of the house! I swear, when I get my hands on her…”

Said human nearly let out a scoff. Of course he was going to blame this all on her. This shit wouldn’t have happened if he hadn’t attacked her in the first place!

“A human?” Maricara hummed curiously. “Well, I do remember seeing somebody running around in my mirrors. Last I saw them, they were on the second floor.”

Emmanuel clicked his tongue. “Shit, really? It seems she more competent than I thought.”

_‘Damn straight!’_

“Ah, ah, ah~!” Maricara suddenly called out, snapping her fingers. “You’re being exceptionally rude today. Barging into my room and then leaving without a thank you or helping fee?”

She could hear Emmanuel groan petulantly in response. “For the love of- I said I’ll pay you back later! I have to stop that woman before-“

“Before what? Before she leaves? Wouldn't that be better instead of her destroying the rest of the house?” She shot back in a blasé manner. “Why are you so eager to find this human anyway? You never bothered with them before.”

A few beats of silence filled the room, and (F/n) hopped her drumming heart couldn’t be heard in it.

“…?”

“It…It’s none of your business.” Emmanuel huffed, though she could detect a sense of confusion in his clipped tone. “I’ll buy you some sanguinaccio dolce later. Bye.”

And with that, to door closed, signaling that he had left. (F/n) sighed in pure relief, glad to have survived another encounter with him.

She cautiously climbed out of the pile of stuffed animals and saw that Maricara was looking at the door with a curious tilt of her head.

“Thanks for helping me out there…” Her gratitude broke the vampire from her thoughts and she turned to give her a simple nod.

“You’re welcome…all though I wouldn’t say you’re out of the woods yet.” She closed her eyes and took a sip from her teacup. “I bought you a few moments, but the state that he was in…it would be wise of you to leave as soon as possible.”

(F/n) couldn’t help but shiver at her words. She didn’t know how Emmanuel looked when he was in here, but for it to be enough to concern Maricara even a little was alarming to say the least.

“Well…that was the plan. Mind telling me how I can get to the first floor?”

“I believe your little familiar can show you how.”

Grimalkin, who had been silent up to this point, perked up in surprise at her mention. “Eh? You knew I was here as well ma’am?”

“Of course. I saw you assisting (L/n) throughout this whole ordeal.” A faint smile ghosted her lips. “I’m sure she would’ve perished had it not been for your help.”

“She’s right you know…” (F/n) looked down at the familiar with a bigger one, overcome with the urge to give her a grateful pet on the head. “I really owe you one…”

Even with her fur, she could see Grimalkin blush as she gave her a bashful grin. “It is no problem ma’am! I’m glad I was able to assist you at all!”

“Well, we’re not done yet! I still need your help in finally getting out of this place. And when we do, I’m gonna give you the best Yelp ratting ever!”

“Thank you kindly ma’am!” Grimalkin saluted before adopting a more determined expression. “Let’s see here…It says that the entrance to the 1st floor is somewhere to the left. I believe it has something to do with that box over there!”

(F/n) looked over to where she was pointing, spotting an antique looking toy chest.

“She’s quite the capable familiar, like a cross between Siri and a Pokédex…” Maricara absently admired. “She’s right though. The toy chest should lead you to the sitting room of the first floor. Once you arrive, it should be pretty straightforward to the door.”

“I see…” (F/n) felt like she’d never understand the intricacies of magic, but at least she was getting used to it. She barely batted an eye at the fact that she’d be getting out of here via toy chest. “Thanks again for everything Maricara. If there’s anyway I can repay you-“

“Oh there is, especially since you entered hideout #17 without permission.” Her smile was both sweet and cold, like arsenic ice cream. “You can make it up to me later though, preferably while you’re alive and well. Take care now (L/n).”

“U…U-Uh yeah, you too…” She sweat dropped, feeling a little intimidated. While she may be cute enough to make a bunny look like a scorpion, that didn’t mean she couldn’t cut a bitch. It would be wise not to cross her.

(F/n) walked over to the toy chest and opened it to see that despite the fact that it was shallow, she couldn’t see the bottom of it. There was just an abyss like blackness.

She glanced back at Maricara who encouraged her with a silent nod. Gulping, she steeled herself before jumping into the box. Everything went dark, and the odd feeling of free falling had her stomach rolling. Thankfully, the sensation didn’t last long as she safely landed in a crouch.

(F/n) tried to stand up straight but bumped her head on something above her. Biting back a curse, she pushed against that something, cracking it open to reveal a line of warm light. The macabrely cute décor of Maricara’s room was now replaced with the vintage furnishings of a sitting room. It seems that the toy chest was connected to a storage chest that sat in the corner of the room.

“Tadah~!” She mumbled, struggling a little to climb out of the chest. “I hope going through that didn’t give me magic radiation or something.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t worry about that ma’am!” Grimalkin piped up happily. “That limited time of exposure wouldn’t even harm a fly!”

“So I _was_ being exposed to something…” Great. If she woke up with an extra arm or something, she was suing! “Ugh, whatever. Let’s just get out of here!”

(F/n) hopped out of the chest and wasted no time in leaving the room. The familiar looking hall of the first floor gave her a rush of pure elation. She'd be out of this hell hole in no time!

* * *

 **_Congratulations_ ** _**! You have successfully escaped the vampire!** _

~~_**…For now.** _ ~~

_**I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, whether you read the novel mode or played the game mode! Like I mentioned, the latter is more of an experimental thing, so please let me know what you guy’s think about it and if there’s anything I need to improve on it.** _

_**Btw, t**_ _ **he whole concept of the [Game mode} was inspired by**_ _**the story["Haunted House" ](https://www.quotev.com/story/10095455/Haunted-House-YandereMonsters-x-Reader/1)by [вυяgυηdу](https://www.quotev.com/burgundyink) on Quotev which ya'll should definitely check out if you haven't read it cause it's really good!**_

_**Thanks for reading~!** _

_**Thanks for reading~!** _


	6. The Truth Come Out!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (F/n)'s escape doesn't go quite as planned. But, she does end up getting some much needed answers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAAAAA, I'M SO SORRY FOR THE LATE UPDATE GUYS!!! I wanted to update much sooner than this, but certain health issues have kept me from working on anything (don't worry, it wasn't the rona and I'm doing much better)! I'm back though and ready to get on with the rest of this arc!  
> I hope you can enjoy the chapter~

_**Chapter 6: The Truth Come Out!** _

* * *

Despite the fact that her body felt like lead, (F/n) had never felt so light and free than at this moment. These dreaded halls blurred as she passed them, but she was elated to see that they also looked familiar. She truly was on the first floor, and soon she would be out of this horrid place!

“Take a left over here ma’am and we should be closer to the foyer!” Grimalkin cheered, seeming just as happy as (F/n) to finally leave this place. She smiled down at the familiar, feeling an effusive gratitude towards her. She was sure that if it wasn’t for the little cat, she would’ve been a goner. The same could also be said for Maricara. Intimidating nature aside, she had hidden her from her crazy ass brother and cut her escape time in half with the short cut. She would be sure to repay them both 100x over when she got out of here.

(F/n) drifted around a corner and let out a whoop as soon as she entered the foyer. You would’ve thought the front door was the messiah themselves with how she gazed at it. The adrenaline in her veins was practically effervescent, propelling her forward to her escape like premium gasoline to a car. Hell, she damn near skipped to the exit and she whooped in triumph. She was free! She was finally going to get out of this hell hole!

_..and in her euphoria of escape, she forgot about a little enemy of hers…called Murphy’s Law._

A dark blur had shot out from the shadows. She didn’t even have time to blink before it slammed into her side, harshly knocking her to the ground. She felt her brain and bones jostle as she and the figure rolled across the ground from the impact and for a moment, she thought all her senses had shut down.

Her sight went dark, ears ringing, mouth dry, nose stuffed, body numb, head _pounding_. She was stuck in a suspended limbo of what-the- _fuck_ had just happened. She was so close to the door. A few more steps and she would’ve been home free! So why? Why-?!

“Ah _, la naiba_ that hurt!”

… ** _No_**

Following her hearing, all of her sense came back in a nauseating wave. She blinked up blearily at the accursed face above her, the muddy feeling of rage and fear slogging through her veins.

“Y…Y-You son of a **_bitch_**.”

Emmanuel smirked at her growl, looking like the cat that caught the canary. “Hello, _Purcel_ ~”

“M…M-Ma’am!” And speaking of cat, she could hear Grimalkin cry out in alarm. Emmanuel took her wrist, gazing at her watch in mild annoyance.

“This damn thing has been quite a nuisance.” He hissed and (F/n) felt a protective rage overcome her as he took the watch off. She swore that if he did anything to Grimalkin, she was going to punch those stupid fangs out of his mouth.

He turned off the watch and the last thing she saw before he carelessly tossed it to some random corner was Grimalkin’s distraught face. Along sides her mounting fear and anger, (F/n) felt touched, in a bittersweet way, at how she seemed so worried about her. It was a shame that her job of helping her was cut so short by this asshole.

“Now then, it’s been a pain in the ass few hours, but this shitty game of tag has finally come to an end. “ He smirked. “I admit, I’m impressed that you managed to outrun me for so long. It seems you humans are capable of using those braincells of yours.”

“W…W-Well, your dumbass antics made it easy, despite your persistence.” She spat, smirking at the irritated frown she got in return. If she was about to die, then she’d go down talking as much shit as possible. “In that regard, I’d say you’re more like a tick or a leech than a vampire~!”

Emmanuel growled before sharply poking her in the head with his fingers. That familiar paralysis weighed down her limbs, to the point where even her eyelids felt like they weighed a ton.

“There! I much rather my food didn’t talk back to me.” She grit her teeth at the smug grin on his face. Edgy bastard probably thought that line sounded _sooo_ clever.

“F…F-Fahk…ouuu…”

“Yes, yes fuck you too.” He rolled his eyes before he ducked his face in the crook of her neck. She felt every numb nerve in her shiver as he placed his cold lips to her skin, nibbling and licking on it like she was some kind of delectable desert.

“A…A-Ah~,” His voice had gotten lower and smoother, words puffing against her skin. “What a lovely pulse…it flutters like a hummingbird…”

Her panic quadrupled, to the point where she felt like her heart was going to explode out of her chest. The severity of the situation was propelling her into a full-blown panic attack. Sporadic thoughts buzzed in her brain like a wasp nest. They ranged from the Grimassi’s to Angie to Grimalkin to even her mother. Would she be seeing her soon? She’ll probably scold her as soon as she arrived at the afterlife. _‘How could you lose to this fuck boy?!’_ She’d snap while wrapping her in that strong, one armed hug of hers. _‘I taught you better than that! C’mon, let’s go get some ice cream while we talk shit about him.’_ If she wasn’t paralyzed, she would’ve smiled at the thought. It would be nice…to hear her mother’s voice again.

 _‘Sorry mom, he caught me slackin’…’_ Her eyes burned, but she refused to have any tears come out. She’d be damned if she let Emmanuel see her cry. He could take her blood and her life, but he would _not_ take her pride.

And so, she stared up with a fiery defiance, hardly wavering as his fangs poked at her skin, so close to piercing through it and draining her life force away. She’d never gave much thought to what her last words would be. Should she go for something cool like in the movies? She wasn’t feeling all that inspired though…hmm.

 _‘You know, despite all this…I still want to know where he got those bats slippers.’_ She closed her eyes in resignation. It…admittedly wasn’t the most impressive last words but eh, it would do.

A few tense, indulgent moments passed before he opened his mouth to sink his teeth in-

“ _SCUMPUL MEU PUI!_ WE’RE HOME~! ”

Both (F/n) and Emmanuel froze, stunned at the sudden entrance. She lulled her head towards the door to see two people standing at it, a man and a woman. They were both tall and stunningly beautiful, sporting features that matched the asshole above her. The woman was the one who had slammed open the door, her happy smile melting off into a look of pleasant surprise.

“Emmy darling? You’re awake…?” She muttered before her face lit up like the full-moon in the sky. “Oh, my little bat is finally awake!”

“Nice of you to finally wake up Emmanuel.” The man also looked happy to see him until he realized what, or more accurately _who_ , he was sitting on. “I was wondering if you were going to sleep for another mooooooo- _iad sfânt!_ WHO IS **_THAT_**?!”

Emmanuel’s mother stopped at her husband’s yell, gasping as she saw what had sent him into a panic.

“U…U-Um…It’s not what it looks like!” Emmanuel sat up, looking mortified at the position his parents had caught him in. (F/n) wasn’t paying much attention though. Instead, she was more focused on the horde of curious red eyes behind her tormentor’s parents.

There were dozens of them, each just as gorgeous as the last and dressed as if they had come from a funeral. She could hear their shocked mutters flow from their pointed teeth, all of the eyes pointed straight towards her, effectively sealing her doom.

A nauseous panic came over he like a spell, making her head feel light and airy. She had trouble just dealing with one blood thirsty vampire, and now she had to deal with a horde of them?! Th…Th-There was no way she was going to survive. Everything sounded muffled, and her sight was blurring like ink in water. The acidic taste in her mouth signaled that she might have even vomited (hopefully on Emmanuel). It didn’t take long for her to pass out after that, eyes rolling up in her head and into darkness. The last thing she heard was the startled call of demented voices.

* * *

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.

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*

_“Ah~, how many times have I told you not to push yourself?”_

_(F/n) sighed in bliss at the cool hand on her forehead. Her body was heavy and hot, as if her bones were replaced with a lead furnace in the middle of July._

_Her mother frowned, clicking her tongue at the fever she felt. “Every other time you’d make up an excuse to not go to school, and when you finally have a legitimate reason you don’t use it? That don’t add up hun.”_

_“That test was worth half my grade.” She croaked out through her sand papery throat. “There was no way I was going to miss it.”_

_“You ever heard of make up days?”_

_“Ms. Dorthy doesn’t believe in make up days or mercy. Either I took the test or fail and take her horrible class another year.”_

_“Isn’t Ms. Dorothy the one with the Karen bob cut and smells like cabbage.” She asked with a raised brow. (F/n) nodded, and then regretted it immediately as it exasperated her headache._

_“Ugh, I feel like I’m gonna puke my brain through my nose.”_

_“No lie, as gross as that sounds, that would be pretty cool to see. Imagine the story we’d tell the doctors too! We might even end up on those true stories from the E.R shows.”_

_“Well when you put it like that.” (F/n) grumbled, eyes growing heavy as she leaned into her mother’s side some more. She felt like she was floating in a thick muck, but her mother’s hand tangled in her hair was a grounding source of comfort. She could hear her hum, voice soothingly soft._

_“Get some sleep hun. When ya wake up, I’ll have some soup and juice ready for you.”_

_“Is the juice “Capri Suns”?”_

_“You know it.”_

_“Bitchin’.”_

_“Language~.”_

_“Sorry…”_

_The low humming of her mother and the hand on her head was the last thing she remember as sleep slowly drifted to sleep. She snuggled closer to her, and everything went comfortably dark._

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*

* * *

Ironically enough, it was the gentle tousle of her hair that woke (F/n) up rather than put her to sleep. That and soft humming. Bleary eyed, she looked up at the woman who was responsible for said petting.

“M…M-Mo…” She slurred, blinking to clear her sight. When she did, the figure of the woman cleared up to show the serene smile of her boss. She blinked a few more times, bemused, before her eyes shot open in realization. “…Mrs. Grimassi?!”

“ _Buongiorno Passerotta_ ~.” She cooed, voice low and comforting. “How are you feeling dear? You’ve been sleep for quite some time.”

“S…S-Sleep?” She muttered, gaze straying from her boss’ face to the unfamiliar room she had woken up in. “What do you mean? And…and where am I?”

“Why, you’re at the Bathormont house (N/n). Don’t you remember?” Mrs. Grimassi’s spoke carefully, giving her a worried look. “You were here for a delivery at Amityville St.”

The words filtered through (F/n)’s brain for a moment before a wave of memories swept over her. That’s right…that Bathormont house on Amityville St. where that monster Emmanuel had chased her through all night. She had almost escaped when he came out of nowhere and tackled her. Then, just as he was about to bite her, a whole group of more vampires showed up to completely seal her doom and-

An embarrassing whimper prodded against her lips at the memory. Just thinking back over the whole night had left her shaking.

“Oh dear, are you alright?” Mrs. Grimassi looked over her trembling form with soft concern. Her hand was so warm that it almost served to fight against the chill and ache in her bones. But then she also remembered how she got into this situation in the first place. How Mrs. Grimassi had sent her here for a delivery. How she had lied straight to her face that there was nothing to worry about. How she had sent her to _die_ like a lamb to the slaughter.

A bitter bile logged in her throat as quickly she sat up, ignoring the vertigo that resulted from the action. She shook of Mrs. Grimassi’s hand, her touch going from comforting to sickening.

“Am I all right? Of course not.” She snorted, glaring at the woman in anger and betrayal. “Who the hell would be alright after their boss tried to sacrifice them to an evil monster?”

Mrs. Grimassi’s eyes widened in shock, an expression (F/n) had never seen before. Her grey eyes soon filled with guilt, causing her to fist the silk sheets covering her body in agitation. _Good_. Mrs. Grimassi should feel guilty and worse for what she did. But the look wasn’t settling as nicely in her stomach as she wanted it to.

Mrs. Grimassi slowly lowered her hand, lips pressed in a thin line. “…(N/n)-“

_“Don’t call me that.”_

“…(F/n), no amount of apologies or excuses that I make could ever make up for what happened, but please believe me when I say that I never meant for this to happen.” Her voiced wavered, sounding pained.

(F/n) barked out a skeptical laugh. “Yeah, you’re right. It doesn’t make up for what happened. If you’re gonna lie, at least make it more believable!”

“But I’m not lying dear!” She implored, reaching her hand back up. “I swear I-“

“ _Bullshit_!” Even (F/n) herself wasn’t taken aback by the vitriol she managed to produce with that one word. It was as if the dam holding back her emotions from all night had finally cracked. All her anger, fear, sadness, and betrayal began to rush out as word vomit fast enough to make her head spin. “Bullshit! _Bullshit_! You said that there was nothing to worry about! That I would be fine! Well guess what Mrs. Grimassi? Everything was not fine! Instead, I was almost killed multiple times by this asshole vampire after _you_ told me to come here!”

She let out another laugh, though there was no illusion of mirth in it. “Ha, I knew this job was sus from the beginning. I mean, a pay that high just for delivering pizzas? There had to be a catch right? Of course, how was I supposed to know that the catch would be to become fodder for a bunch of monsters?! Tell me, Mrs. Grimassi, have you sent me on all these deliveries with the intention of me not coming back? Were you thinking that after a week of me not becoming something’s lunch, you decided to send me here to finally get the job done? Was all that talk about welcoming me to the family and telling me the truth after all of this just a bunch of BS?! Huh?!”

Her shoulders heaved as she looked at her boss through blurry eyes. Her face flushed with exertion and embarrassment as she realized she started crying some point during her rant. She looked away and buried her head in her knees, not wanting the woman to see her pitiful state. God she was such an idiot. A stupid, naïve idiot who should’ve never allowed herself to fall for such a scam. Her mother was probably rolling in her grave at the emotional dumbass she created.

The silence between the two women seemed to stretch for miles. (F/n) just wished the other would just break it and tell her off already. That or just go away. She was so tired at this point that she didn’t care which she chose.

Instead of either of those, though, she felt that familiar hand settling itself on her shoulder. She flinched at the touch and curled in her ball of misery more tightly. Oh great, was she going to still and try to keep up the caring boss act-

“ _Evermind, the rule of three..._ ”

(F/n) stopped at those familiar words, rolling them around in her head for a moment. She had heard her boss say that phrase many times, but she wasn’t expecting to hear it now. She slowly looked up from her knees to see serious gaze of Mrs. Grimassi. Her grey eyes were filled with all manner of emotions, but the most prominent one alongside the guilt was her earnestness.

“W…W-What?” She croaked, mouth suddenly very dry.

“ _Evermind the rule of three_. It is a tenet that most wiccans and witches hold to religiously.” She explained, holding a hand to her heart. “It is a law that states that whatever energy a person puts into the world, be it positive or negative, will be returned to them three times more. I guess you can say it’s similar to the concept of karma.”

(F/n) listened to her explanation blankly. Where was she going with this?

Mrs. Grimassi sighed, lightly clutching at her shirt. “And because of this rule, many witches try to uphold to it to the best of their abilities…witches like me.”

 _‘Ah, so she’s a witch…’_ The news wasn’t as shocking as it would’ve been some hours ago. Honestly, she thought the title fit an eccentric woman like her boss. It’d be weird if she was anything else. Still, what did that have to do with anything right now?

“From our actions to use of magic, many of us try our best to put out more positive energy than negative in order to avoid as much backlash as possible.” She went on, looking towards (F/n) imploringly. “Which is why I would never purposefully do harm to another person. Morals aside, I’m practically forbidden by law to even do so. So when I say that I never meant to put you in harm’s way, I mean it whole heartedly. If I even had the slightest of bad intentions, it would only disadvantage me more than benefit.”

(F/n) found herself absently nodding at her words. It did make sense…kinda. She wasn’t the best expert in the supernatural world, let alone witches so it sounded like she was making a solid argument. Or it was also a load of hocus pocus BS that she was spouting in order to get her to let her guard down again. She couldn’t completely believe either at this point.

“Okay but…if that’s true, then why did you send me hear at all if you knew it was dangerous?” (F/n) asked, still holding an accusatory tone.

“That’s thing _Passerotta_ , it wasn’t supposed to be dangerous.” She sighed, mussing up her messy hair. “Especially not to you. Witches aren’t the only species with laws to keep them in check after all.”

“What do you mean?” Mrs. Grimassi went pensively silent for a few minutes before reaching into her bag. She spent a few moments looking for something before pulling it out with a triumphant little hum. It looked like some kind of worn-out business card.

“Tell me dear, do you recognize the symbol on this card?” She held up the card and (F/n)’s eyes widened in recognition as she took in the strange symbol that was on it.

“Hey, that’s the same symbol that was on that app with Grimalkin!” She gasped, thinking back to when she first pulled out the iPad. “That weird occult looking thing!”

“So you do recognize it, that’s good then.” That familiar twinkle in her boss’ eyes came back for a moment before she handed the card over to (F/n). “That’ll make my explanation more easier then. I did promise to explain everything to you after you finished your delivery, so now’s a better time than any. Unless you feel like you need more rest?”

(F/n) adamantly shook her head in denial. Even though she felt like she could sleep for another year and a half, she’d rather let Emmanuel suck her blood than miss out on this exposition. She wanted answers now dammit!

“Are you sure? It’s going to be a rather long story.”

“I got the time.” She made herself comfortable, hugging onto a pillow against her chest as if she were getting ready for a movie night instead. “Explain away.”

Mrs. Grimassi chuckled a little at her child like intent, nodding indulgently. “Okay then, I guess I should start from the beginning. As I’m sure you already know, the world of the supernatural is very much real. Has been for as long as the dawn of humans if the records are to be trusted. Though as you can also imagine, the two groups haven’t necessarily gotten along in the past.”

“Psh, I don’t have to imagine.” (F/n) snorted in wry amusement. “If humans can barely get along with each other, then us and monster were probably at each other’s throats both figuratively and literally.”

“Sadly, that’s true.” Mrs. Grimassi mirrored her expression. “The world of the supernatural had a very elitist attitude towards humans for the longest time. Even now, there are plenty who see you all on the same level as animals and pets.”

“Ugh, so even monsters have to deal with prejudiced BS?” She wrinkled her nose, thinking back to Emmanuel and his wise cracks towards humans. She felt even more offended at his little nickname for her in light of this new context.

“Yes, but times have changed.” Mrs. Grimassi sobered up a little, smile becoming more genuine. “Many have realized that the world of humans and monsters aren’t so different from each other. We both have our strengths and faults. We love and hate. Laugh and cry. Create and destroy just like you…however, we also realized something just as important as.”

“And that is?”

“That though or our worlds are so similar, they cannot be together.”

(F/n) blinked at this, taken aback by the somewhat grave tone in her boss’ words. Their worlds couldn’t be together? But why?! Sure, humans and monsters may have not had the best history together, but if attitudes towards them have improved as much as Mrs. Grimassi implied, then how come they couldn’t interact? Was it because they feared the reactions of the humans? If so, she could see that. There would be a mass panic if the existence of monsters were revealed to be legit. People would be terrified and demand they be eliminated! Of course, there would be the same amount of people who would be ecstatic at the fact, wanting to co-exist with them and share in their magic. ~~And don’t even get her started on all the monster fuckers out there.~~

As if reading her mind (which (F/n) was 100% positive she could do in light of her witch lineage), Mrs. Grimassi went on. “Of course the paradigm shift would heavily affect both of our worlds, both positively and negatively. Humans would benefit from the use of magic and we would benefit by improving our decreasing birthrate and population and-“

“Whoa, whoa, whoa!” (F/n) quickly interrupted, looking bewildered. “Birthrate and population? Ya’ll are having issues with that?”

“Oh yes!” Her boss nodded gravely. “The supernatural population is at an all-time low with there being around 100 million of us.”

“Holy shit…” She gapped. That really was low, especially compared to the seven billion humans and counting. They were giving Japan a run for its money!

“That’s why it would benefit us to interact with humans in hopes of one day being able to improve our population growth. I’m sure there would be a few who wouldn’t mind marrying a monster or two…at least I hope so.”

 _‘Oh, there’s more than a few I’m sure…’_ She inwardly snorted, knowing that there were people out there who would kill for a monster gf/bf. Now wasn’t the time to focus on that though. They had more important things to discuss. “Well if you guys are so desperate to get that birthrate up, then why not just reveal yourselves. Yeah, there’s gonna be a lot of backlash at first, but people are surprisingly open to stuff these days. I mean, look at all the supernatural romance novels! Not to be creepy, but humans have been thirsting over monsters for years!”

Mrs. Grimassi let out a deep laugh. “Oh yes, we’re aware trust me. I remember Bram Stoker’s “Dracula” causing quite a stir when it was published, though it seems the series called “Twilight” caused an even bigger one amongst the younger generation, fufu~!”

“Oof, yeah~ sorry about that.” She muttered sheepishly, hoping that nobody from the supernatural community would find out about the stories on Wattpad. Maricara had mentioned she went on TikTok though, so it was probably all for naught. God, she could imagine the discourse on their monster social media already.”

“However, there’s more reasons as to why we can’t interact with humans so directly. It’s…too risky, more so for you then us.”

“And why is that?” (F/n) prodded and Mrs. Grimassi sighed, getting ready to launch into another long explanation.

“Well you see dear, though both monsters and humans live on Earth, our worlds are still separate. I guess you could say that we live in different dimensions.”

The science fiction nerd in her perked up at this. “Ooo~, different dimensions? That’s awesome! Oh, but if you guys live in a different dimension then how did you get to ours? You got some kinda of magic portals that you use like Doctor Strange?”

“That’s correct!” Mrs. Grimassi clapped, looking impressed. “Though I’d say they’re more like “rips” in our dimensions than purposefully made portals. We’re still not sure how they came to be, but we’re not really complaining. These “rips” are located all over the world and they tend to open and close randomly. There are some that have never closed though, which leads to a larger supernatural presence in your world than usual. In fact, there’s one in this very city!

“Dead ass?! Er, I mean really?!” Well, that explained all the weird as hell people that lived out here.

“Yes indeed! That’s why Antonio and I decided to open our pizzeria in it~!” She chimed, much to (F/n)’s astonishment. They made their shop in a permanent dimensional rip? _Badass_!

“That’s probably the most coolest thing that I’ve heard…though while we’re on the subject, since I assume that all of our customers were monsters, does that mean only you guys can go through the portals?” She asked, tilting her head thoughtfully. She couldn’t remember a single possible human who could’ve have entered their shop. There were no homeless or shady people chilling in the alleyway and even on a busy weekend afternoon, no one would spare the alley a single glance. It was as if they couldn’t see or notice it.

“Hmm, well yes and no.” Mrs. Grimassi tapped her chin thoughtfully. “Humans can safely go through the portals, but only if they have a certain amount of magic. It’s kind of hard to explain, but you know how you have to get certain shots before you visit another country to avoid the risk of getting sick? It’s in a similar vein to that. The environment of our world is chockfull of magical energy, from the soil to the clouds in the sky. Our bodies have long since acclimated to the presence of magic and we can use that very same magic to protect us from the environment of the human world. The same can’t be said for you guys though. Magic is a surprisingly virulent force to those who aren’t used to it, which can be said for the majority of humans. If I were to guesstimate, I’d say about 10-15% of the human population has some kind of magic in them and those are usually from people who live nears the “rips”.”

(F/n)’s brain cells were practically smoking in the effort to process all that information. She crossed her arms and furrowed her brow in concentration. “So…what you’re saying is that magic can actually be dangerous to normal people who don’t have it? And as long as you have some type of magic in you, you’ll be fine?”

“More or less. It would be ideal if a person were to have the same amount of magic in them as the average monster, but unfortunately there are very little of you with that much. Of the 10-15% with magic, the vast majority of them have about 5% of the amount of magic as the average monster.”

“Aw, what~?” (F/n) pouted. Why were humans so nerfed when it came to magic! Was having opposable thumbs just to OP or what? “Well that sucks- WAIT A MINUTE!!!”

Mrs. Grimsassi jumped at her employee’s shriek, looking at the joyful smile on her face in bewilderment. “Er, what is it dear?”

“Okay, so if only people with magic can go through these “rip” thingies, then does that mean I have magic too?!” She bounced excitedly in her seat, looking like a kid on Christmas day. “Like, since I’m able to go into the pizzeria without getting sick, then that means I have to have some kind of magic right? Right?!”

Understanding dawning on her face, Mrs. Grimassi gave the younger woman an indulgent smile. “That’s exactly right my dear! For you to even see the help wanted ad that we posted as well as to notice our pizzeria means that you do have some magic in you.”

“FUC- er, I mean FUDGE YEAH!!!” She cheered, throwing the pillow up in the air. Praise be to the old ones, she wasn’t a muggle! She had actual, genuine, bonafide magic in her! Was it because she lived near those “rips” that Mrs. Grimassi mentioned, or maybe one of her ancestors was screwing around with a fairy or something? Well whatever it is, she wasn’t complaining! “Oh! Does that mean I can do magic and cast spells and stuff? Can I curse my enemies cause there’s this incel in my class who’s just asking to be cursed and-“

“Now, now! Make sure to breath first _Passerotta_ ~!” Mrs. Grimassi giggled and (F/n) had a little bit of decency to look sheepish. She just couldn’t help herself! Would anybody react calmly if they found out they could use magic? “While you do have enough to see through low level enchantments and go through “rips”, that’s not nearly enough to be able to casts spells. That requires a lot of time and training, and at the moment you have about as much magic as a toddler in our world.”

“A…A-Are you for real?!” She slumped onto the bed, every pore in her body oozing disappointment. Yeah, she was still juiced that she had some magic in her, but she was really looking forward to using said magic (damn, she was really looking forward to cursing that bastard Kyle too)!

“Now don’t feel too down, there are ways to grow you magic with time.” She patted her shoulder consolingly, though couldn’t mask the amusement in her tone. “Like I said, with enough time and training you should be able to at least manage some low-level spells. But first, we have to get you more acclimated to our world.”

“Wait, what?” (F/n) perked up her head in surprise. “But I thought I already was?”

“Not necessarily!” Mrs. Grimassi chirped, taking on a more scholarly tone. “While you are used to areas near the “rips”, such as the places that I sent you to deliver the pizzas to, you’re still not nearly prepared enough to completely enter our world. That’s why any humans fortunate enough to be aware of our world has to build a tolerance to it for at least a whole year before officially entering. That’s also the reason why I waited until now to tell you all of this. I had to see if you were capable of handling these small amounts of exposure before I officially revealed the existence of our world to you. “Twilight Gardens” has much more magical energy than all the other places you delivered to, so I believed that if you were able to make this delivery without any problems, then it would be fine. Though since you spent more time than anticipated here while running around, you must be absolutely exhausted.”

(F/n) frowned, sitting up from her spot with a wince. Oof, yeah she did feel pretty shitty right now. Her bones felt like metal jelly, her stomach was doing tumbles, and her head was killing her. She wasn’t sure if that was because of all the running she did, or this so-called “magic sickness”. “So…this whole ordeal was just a test to see if I could handle a magical environment? Even the whole getting chased by a vampire thing?”

Mrs. Grimassi winced, guilt weighing heavily on her shoulders. “The first part yes, the second part no. I’m actually very good friends with the Bathormonts and I’ve known them for years. They’re a lovely family who wouldn’t hurt a fly, so I felt that it was safe to send you to their house for the test. Stefan and Juliani, the heads of the house, were supposed to be the one to greet you but…”

“But Emmanuel greeted me instead…” She spat the name out, clutching onto the pillow in her arms tighter. Stupid douchey vampire bigot…

“That’s right.” Mrs. Grimassi’s expression sobered up again, though confusion was also clear on her face. “Apparently, Stefan and Juli had an emergency meeting with the rest of their clan, so they wouldn’t be here to greet you. They believed that one of the butler’s would answer the door instead as well as pass along their well wishes. However, Emmy greeting you was definitely not a part of the plan.”

(F/n) held back the snort at her wannabe tormentor’s nickname (seriously, _Emmy_?), but managed to repress it. Instead, she focused back in on her boss’ words.

“We had no idea that he would choose now of all days to wake up from his nap.” She bemoaned, placing a hand to her cheek. “And we certainly didn’t think he would attack you like that! When Juli told me what happened, I was aghast! Emmy is such a sweet boy who would never try to hurt a human.”

“I’m sorry Mrs. Grimassi, but “ _sweet_ ” is the last thing I would describe him as.” (F/n) couldn’t help but snort. That asshole, being a sweet wittle baby? Yeah right! She’d seen scorpions more amiable than him. “Though Grimalkin did say that it was strange for him to attack me at all. Apparently there’s some law that prevents vampires from attacking humans?”

Mrs. Grimassi nodded, looking pensive. “That’s correct. Every supernatural species is outlawed from straight out attacking humans. A vampire drinking from one is extremely dangerous and can prove to be fatal to the human if enough blood is taken. The penalty for breaking these laws are extremely harsh and it’s more efficient to just get blood from doners or go for other sources. The vast majority of vampires don’t feel the need to drink from humans like that, so that’s why it’s so strange for Emmy to behave like that…”

Mrs. Grimassi looked troubled and (F/n) only felt bad that her boss was so upset at the thought of Emmanuel getting punished by the law. She, on the other hand, couldn’t wait to see that bastard in cuffs! Maybe a few months in the slammer will teach him not to “ _play with his food_ ” as he so eloquently described it.

“So, um…where is that jerk- er, I mean Emmanuel anyway? Last I saw him was in the foyer” She broke the silence with a tentative question. It wasn’t that she wanted to see him, but it’d be nice to know where he was so she could avoid him like the plague.

Mrs. Grimassi perked up at this and gave her a tired smile. “Ah, yes. His parents should be talking with him at the moment. They were very upset and wanted to get the whole story from him.” She then stopped and laid a comforting hand on her leg. “They also wished they could talk to you as well.”

(F/n) tensed at this and her boss quickly went on to explain. “They mean no ill will of course! They just want to get your side of the story and apologize for what happened. They understand if you don’t want to speak with them though, so don’t feel pressured to do so if you think you can’t handle it.”

(F/n) bit her lip and mulled the idea over. She honestly didn’t want to see another vampire for the rest of her life, but it would admittedly be harsh for her to judge all of them just because of a single bad experience with one. Besides, Maricara was a vampire and she was pretty chill so who’s to say her parents wouldn’t be?

(F/n) took in a deep breath before giving a slow nod. “Uh, no it’s fine. I…I don’t mind talking to them.”

“Are you sure? Like I said, it’s alright if you don’t want to. You can just tell me what happened and I can pass along your story to them.” Mrs. Grimassi offered and (F/n) felt warm at the concern and consideration that she was showing. The guilt from her earlier doubt and outburst at her was settling heavily in her gut. She would have to apologize for that later, but for now she just wanted to get this whole ordeal over with. She would tell the Bathormonts what happened, leave this god forsaken mansion, go home and get chewed out by Angie, and sleep in her bed until next fall.

“It’s fine Mrs. Grimassi. I’m not gonna let one bad experience ruin my impression of all vampires.” She explained with a simple shrug. “Besides, you yourself said they wouldn’t hurt a fly and…and I trust you wouldn’t lie to me so…yeah.”

Mrs. Grimassi gaped at her for a moment before the grey in her eyes turned misty. The next second, she wrapped her arms around (F/n) in a big, breath taking hug. “Y…Y-You have such a big heart _Passerotta_! I’m so sorry for everything that’s happened! You could’ve gotten seriously sick or hurt or w-worse! Oh, I always make terrible, stupid mistakes like this. People always say I’m too carefree for my own good. I’ve been an awful boss to you, but I’ll make sure that nothing like this ever happens again!”

(F/n) was startled for a moment, but then she melted into the warm embrace of her boss. She felt bad for making her cry, but also happy for the deep concern she was showing. Even after her explanation, a small part of (F/n) believed that she was still being lied to. That Mrs. Grimassi was just tricking her again. But seeing these tears and hearing her earnest apology seemed to wash away that lingering doubt.

(F/n) wrapped her arms around her boss, trying to keep her own tears from falling. Mrs. Grimassi genuinely cared for her, and that conformation alone nearly made all the heartache and stress from earlier worth it.

* * *

_**Aaaaa, what do you guys think of this chapter?? I hope I was able to explain the workings of the supernatural world clearly enough! I didn't want it to be too confusing, but not super basic you know? I probably failed in both efforts tho, lol.** _ _**Also, Reader finally gets some answers as well as the peace of mind that her low-key mother figure didn't purposefully try to get her killed so that's nice~** _

_**The next chapter, we got to meet the heads of the Bathormont clan, Emmy's mom and dad! I wonder how that'll turn out~?👀 Tune in next chapter to find out!** _

_**Thanks for reading~!🖤** _


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